Previously on “Top Chef”: everyone had to make
chowder, which was expected. I mean, they’re in Boston. Anyway, Katie lost and
it was a Sudden Death Quickfire so she had to battle. They brought back all the
eliminated contestants for no reason and they threw in George because he was
the first out. Dumb. He was so terrible he didn’t even last a whole episode! Anyway,
suddenly he’s better than Katie so she went home and he got to stay. So then
the judges did the shopping for everyone, but they didn’t try to screw people
as much as I thought they should be. Make dishes for Top Chef fans. Doug won
for being awesome. Adam scalded shrimp in oil and that was a fail so he got
sent home. Or technically to Last Chance Kitchen. (click for more)
On Last Chance Kitchen everyone had to battle,
like 7 people, and they had to remake the dish that sent them home. Rebecca won,
and then she battled Adam and Katie, because of course now we keep two people
through to the next round instead of one. Sigh. Anyway, make something both “dry”
and “slimy” and Rebecca was easily defeated. So Adam and Katie are still
around.
Doug loves winning challenges. George gloats
about returning to competition. Whatever dude. No one else is excited.
Doug talks about how he and Katsuji are best
friends or something. It’s the morning of the next challenge and we all have to
tolerate everyone sitting outside and having coffee and talking about their
lives. Katsuji gets some childhood photos so I guess he’s the next to go.
Rob Gronkowski is here. Padma flirts with him
since usually there’s just random chefs here. She says he can call him “honey”.
Sigh. Anyway, Rob wants Polish sausage, so the Quickfire is to make the best
possible sausage from scratch in one hour. Cue dirty sausage comments.
Gregory says an hour is actually not that much
time. Texture is important. Katsuji says “get punched by my sausage”, I believe.
Mei makes Asian. It’s not very exciting today in the Top Chef kitchen. Not even
with all the dirty jokes! George and Melissa can’t get their sausage stuffed
properly. George finally gives up and makes patties. Melissa’s sausages end up
tiny so she is worried.
Doug: beer-braised pork sausage with onions and
mustard. Melissa: wild boar and pork sausage with lentils, cucumber, fennel,
and pickled red onion. Mei: pork sausage with ginger, garlic, fish sauce,
avocado, coconut puree and yuzu aioli. Katsuji: brisket and pork sausage with
habaneros, cumin, coriander, ginger and saffron rice. Gregory: pork and boar
sausage with kaffir lime, chilies, lemongrass, garlic, cucumber and carrot salad.
George: pork and veal sausage patty with sunny side up egg and potato hash. George
tells Rob he’s not a Patriots fan because George is not very bright.
Melissa did not make large enough sausages. Rob
reads his joke about big muscles and he is terrible. Seriously if he can’t read
the lines they gave him you’d be better off just letting him adlib. Gregory’s
was spicy but it wasn’t the best. Doug’s simple sausage was delicious. George was
also delicious even though he didn’t technically make sausage and also he’s not
a Pats fan. George wins, which seems weird. Really? I guess. Now he has
immunity, right after he came back from being eliminated.
Elimination Challenge. Padma brings in guest
judge Tony Maws, who is a chef I’ve never heard of. He wheels in a big
bookcase. There are names of famous authors who are from New England. Not even
Boston? Sigh. Anyway, they will be inspired by one of these authors. They can
pick out any work of theirs, short stories, poem, whatever. Diners should be
able to get it from your plate. 3 hours to cook tomorrow. Gregory picks Edgar
Allen Poe, Katsuji gets Stephen King, George takes Dr. Seuss (Padma says do not
make green eggs and ham), Mei has Thoreau (she admits she has no idea about his
works), Melissa has Nathanial Hawthorne. That means Doug is stuck with Emily
Dickinson. “Yes! I’m feeling great about getting the depressed chick poet. From
the 1800s.” Aww, they’re letting them study before shopping. Whenever they do
stuff like this I always hope they won’t let them study and someone fails
because they have no idea what is going on.
Everyone stands around and looks through the prop
books the production has provided. I wonder if there is actually anything
written in there. Mei is discovering that Thoreau talks about nature a lot so
she’s doing vegetarian. Doug is going romantic. Katsuji wants to go with “Carrie”.
Everyone jokes about if he’s going to splash blood on the judges.
Shopping. George is going with “One Fish, Two
Fish” which is not the worst idea. Doug finds the phrase “bring me the sunset
in a cup” so I think he’s making carrot soup. Hawthorne suggests to Melissa
farms and seasonal transition.
In the morning Gregory talks about coming out of
the closet in school, which is something he’s thinking about since they
basically have a school assignment. He’s working off “The Raven” because when
you have to make a dish based on a work by Poe that’s what you pick out. He has
a lot of ideas, actually. Katsuji is making stew and a red sauce. He wants
people to say “Shit!” but in a good way. Doug is making as many layers as
possible for his soup.
Tom Time! George has a good idea for red and
blue, and fish, but he has immunity so he can actually do whatever he wants. Mei
has roasted vegetables. She actually has a drawing of what she wants her plate
to look like. She stirs a giant pot of charred onions she chopped fine to make
soil. Melissa is trying to have both spring and fall in one dish to show the
changing of the seasons. Francis Lam shows up for judging. Gregory is anal about
presentation since that is really important today.
Gregory: seared beef tenderloin, grilled hen,
parsnip puree, beets, and crispy nori. He has clearly thought about “The Raven”
more than just “I should make poultry”. The judges are impressed with how everything
on the plate is important to the story, although they do get a full explanation
from Gregory. After he leaves the table, it turns out one person at the table
had overdone beef. Oops. George: calamari, mussels, clams, pan seared branzino,
purple potatoes, roasted red peppers. I kind of wish he was more crazy with the
presentation, to get some of the whimsy of Dr. Seuss. The judges agree with me.
Mei: roasted vegetables, charred onion soil, tom kha snow, radish and carrot
top vinaigrette. Tom kha is a coconut soup so that’s pretty clever. Gail says
there is a lot of technique but the flavor came through too.
Melissa: seared halibut, spring vegetables,
morels, charred baby corn, asparagus, peas and mushroom broth. Melissa’s plan
was to have light spring flavors, then finish with the darker mushroom broth to
show the passing of seasons to fall. Tom says she nailed it. Katsuji: first of
all, his plates look like he took spoonfuls of tomato sauce and dropped them on
the plates from four feet up. He gets up there, and starts to say what work he
was inspired by, and then blanks. Good job, dumbass. I mean, it’s not like you
can’t figure out “Carrie” from a bloody mess but come on. Fabada with white
beans, chorizo, jamon serrano, short rib, veal osso buco, red beet puree and hot
sauce. Fabada is Spanish bean stew. Tom says it’s the most unappetizing dish he’s
ever seen. Oh come on, Tom. How many years of this show and THAT’S the most
unappetizing dish you’ve ever seen? I doubt it. The sauces are thick but Gail
thinks it all works somehow. Doug: grilled carrot bisque with grilled carrots,
orange, cumin vinaigrette, radish and dandelions. It’s delicious and the color pops.
Commercial interlude: if Doug wrote a book it
would be called “Wrestling Tigers!”. Yes. Katsuji’s book is “The Curious Case
of Chef Katsuji Tanabe: From a Mexican Kosher Restaurant Catholic Immigrant in
a New Country.” Because of course it would.
The judges talk a little bit about the dishes and
who should win. Doug, Mei, and Melissa all get praise. George had immunity but
everyone was underwhelmed, so Katsuji and Gregory are up for elimination. Katsuji
is a mess sometimes and Gregory didn’t really succeed in matching his dish to
the literary work.
Judges’ Table. Tom says this was a hard challenge
but no one seemed to have a huge problem with it. Mei, Melissa, and Doug are
the tops. Doug focused on the carrot. Mei was a little worried about going
strictly vegetarian, but she’s proud of what she ended up with. Melissa had a
clear idea of what she wanted. The winner is Mei. Nice. Gregory didn’t have a
clear vision so no one could immediately identify what work he had. Katsuji’s
idea was pretty good but the sauces were thick. Katsuji is eliminated. The food
just didn’t hold up. He’s a great chef. Weirdly everyone gives him a group hug
except Doug. Katsuji knows he’s on TV so that’s an accomplishment. He thinks his
daughter would be proud of him.
Next time: stupid Andy Cohen, college students, Julia
Child. I think it’s not on until after the holidays so enjoy the break!
Last Chance Kitchen: Katsuji is ready to go. He
was not expecting two chefs, but he knows he can beat Katie. The peanut gallery
is here too, even Aaron who I thought was arrested? Katsuji uses too many
ingredients. For this challenge you must use at least 20 ingredients. Ha! 20
minutes! Hilarious. Tom forces peanut gallery members to keep track of everyone’s
stuff.
Katsuji of course is throwing things in a blender
and has a million things going. He’s making a kind of mole. Katie and Adam
start listing things too. Katie’s going for Indian since chutneys and the like
have a bunch of ingredients. Adam rants about making everything cohesive. He’s one
ingredient short right now and he’s really bitter at having to do this
challenge.
Tom appears to bother everyone. Adam has ceviche.
He hates this challenge but he claims to have 21 things. Katie has eggplant and
is boring so Tom bails on that conversation quickly. Katsuji of course has 20
ingredients, he has 31 ingredients. Heh. Katsuji’s station seems to be clean by
some miracle.
Katsuji: pescado encacahuatado mole with nuts,
dry fruits, and chiles. Basically fish in complicated sauce. Tom says it’s good
but it’s missing something. Ha! Katie: Indian tomato “stew” with yogurt herb
sauce and seared spiced eggplant. Adam: Peruvian ceviche, summer vegetable “leche
de tigre”. Leche de tigre is the liquid you use to marinate the ceviche. Katsuji
had great flavor, Adam’s dish still appeared simple, and Katie was super
focused. Katsuji makes it through, as does Adam. So Katie is out. Aww. Adam had
the best dish, so he’s thrilled because during the regular show he never won
anything.
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