The Quest episode 10: "One True Hero"

Previously on “The Quest”: Twelve people were brought from our world to Everealm to defeat Verlox the Darkness. One by one they were banished, in search of the One True Hero. The last four paladins left were captured by the Rana, along with Ansgar, Crio, and the Queen. Everyone had to convince the Rana chief why they were worthy, and Lina jumped the gun in her eagerness to convince them. They had to make her stop so they could take out an hourglass to time her. Later the paladins had to escape from cages and free everyone, and Andrew finished first. Lina, Patrick, and Shondo had to cross a rickety bridge on a bog, carrying eggs, to appease a banshee. Shondo was first there. When it came down to the vote, it ended up being a tie, so Andrew was the deciding vote since he won the badge that day. He kept his vote for Lina, and Patrick was banished. Was it a strategic move? Or was it because Lina got further than Patrick in the Fates’ challenge? Or because of her argument about being the One True Hero? Because that really impressed me. (click for more)

You guys! This is the last episode and the ratings were really bad so it’s unlikely there will be a second season. It makes me really sad.

Everyone has an interview about how they have what it takes. Everyone walks through the woods, although they’re still on alert. Some riders come by so they dive into the woods. Ansgar says he’ll create a diversion. He tells Crio to complete the quest, and then he jumps out into the road and starts pulling guys off horses and swordfighting. Everyone else runs the other way. Oh no, are they going to kill Ansgar? Is he going to nobly sacrifice himself to save the Queen and the One True Hero?? No, the scene ends with him surrendering. I feel like if they were going to kill him they would have made sure the paladins saw it so they could avenge his death later. Shondo says Ansgar is “a certified G.”

Crio leads them around and then there is some “smoke”. When the “smoke” clears, the temple is there. It looks much less realistic in the daylight, but still impressive. The Fates call this “The Final Passage” and tell them two will fail and one will continue. So they aren’t going to base it on a vote? YES! Voting would be full of scheming and crap. Crio and the Queen say goodbye and say they’ll meet them “in the secret passage”.

The three paladins take off running into the woods, where they mount up on horses and ride to the first challenge location. There is some bad treemail rhyming that tells them to cut down some vines and look for a map. The “vines” are hollow tubes of fabric that are filled with sand or beans or something. Then you have to run through the woods to the next thing. Lina thinks Shondo and Andrew will focus on each other and ignore her. So this is Swedish Roulette, which is a thing from “Amazing Race”. Swedish Roulette is when the task is based on luck. You could cut down every vine, and the last one is the one with the map, or you can be like Shondo and the first vine has a map in it. There really isn’t any skill involved in being first, unless you have so little skill you can’t cut vines down. Anyway, Shondo bails and starts running. Lina finds a map next, so Andrew freaks out and just starts hacking everything. He’s gone back to search the piles of beans or sand or whatever. Shondo is at the next challenge, where there are scales. You have six items and the scales have to balance. Lina catches up and starts balancing. Andrew finally finds a scroll in a pile on the ground, meaning someone cut it down and didn’t see it.

Shondo is trying to be logical about the scales but he’s not doing that well. Lina’s trying to figure out how much everything weighs first before she starts. Andrew appears so now they’re all balancing. Andrew says he’s in rush mode, which is not really a good thing for him. Lina’s plan has worked, because her scales are balanced. She takes off sprinting while the boys get more frantic. Andrew says he got a lucky guess and he’s the next one gone. Aww, Shondo. He’s frustrated and has to calm down.

The third challenge is three sets of doors set into the ground. There are rings on each door, and a long chain. You have to use every ring, and go back and forth from side to side on each ring. So from one door to the other door and back again. The poem also says only two people can continue on from here. Andrew arrives and doesn’t see the chain by the doors, because he’s not over there. He says “I must have left my chain” and then runs all the way back to the scales. Oh Andrew. Shondo sees him back there, talking about chains, but he keeps on balancing. When he gets back he finds the chain, of course, but now he’s panicking and just running the chains through the rings without going back and forth. This is a lot of work because the chain is really long. Andrew quickly finishes but realizes he’s done it wrong. Oops.

Shondo finally figures out his scales so he can go move chains. So now Lina is in the lead, with Andrew and Shondo pretty much even because Andrew had to start over. Lina finishes and it’s done correctly. Shondo says “Uh, Houston, we have a problem, and I’m from Houston so we damn sure had a problem”. Lina chants to herself not to give up. Andrew’s chain is all tangled, probably from having to lace and unlace it. Lina finds a bridge with two bull’s-eyes. All she has to do is hit the bull’s-eye with an arrow and she’ll win. I’m really excited that she might win. Especially since it’s possible Andrew brought her because he thought he could beat her.

Lina aims an arrow…and misses. By like an inch! I thought she would hit it. Her next arrow doesn’t hit the target, so this might take a while. Andrew finally finishes and leaves. Shondo looks like he might cry. As he stands there, he’s upset, and then they do the smoke effect right there. He reappears at the temple to give up his piece of the Sunspear. He is super disappointed in himself. Aww, Shondo. You were awesome. He knows he’s still a hero.

Andrew thinks Lina isn’t that fast and he can catch up to her. She is shooting a lot of arrows. They cut between her shooting and Andrew running through the woods. There are at least ten arrows in the target, plus whichever ones are on the ground. Andrew makes it to the bridge, but just then Lina finishes. Yay! I don’t think Andrew managed to get to the bow to start shooting. Andrew reappears at the temple, and interviews about how he couldn’t wait for the Sunspear so he could be powerful. But now he thinks the hero is more than that. Well, clearly, because it’s not him. He says the person who won is the one who deserved it, because she was always kind and good.

Lina finally walks across the bridge. It has just begun. I mean we still have 15 minutes left so that means epic boss battle! Lina runs through the woods, back to the temple. She has the biggest grin on her face. Yay! Lina screws the pieces of the Sunspear together and interviews about how you should always fight for what you want. The spear is taller than she is and is cool looking. Lina stands before the Fates and promises to defeat Verlox. She holds the spear up, and then it glows. They do a cool effect where all the paladins come down from their windows and end up kneeling on the floor around Lina. Awesome! You can hear the emotion in her voice when she talks about how proud she is to have won. The other paladins cheer and I think they are genuinely happy for her. Shondo says when the pressure was on, Lina performed. Then Ansgar runs up. Wait, where did he come from? Wasn’t he captured? He does seem to have some artful blood running down the side of his face. Ansgar kneels and offers his sword to Lina. Come on! There’s a war to win!

All the paladins and Ansgar head for the tunnels. Crio and the Queen are not there. Ansgar tells Lina to go through the tunnels, while he and the other paladins head for the gates to “create a diversion”. I am so excited about this. I know there is no way Lina is going to lose at this point but I am into this story and this is so much fun. Everyone sneaks up to the gate and they have a big battle. Lina sneaks up from the moat. Everyone gets in on the fighting which is cool. Imagine if you lost this game but then they let you come back at the end to swordfight and stuff! Ansgar shoves someone off a ledge and leads Lina into a tower. Even Bonnie is kicking some ass! I love this. Outside on the field there is supposedly a huge army. Verlox has Crio and the Queen in the tower with him.

Lina books it around the castle while the paladins fight. She finds Verlox, who tells her to give up the Sunspear and he’ll let Crio and the Queen live. Pff. Crio tells her to trust the prophecy and herself. Verlox says he’ll take it, and she says “You can try.” Yeah! They fight, with Lina using the Sunspear like a staff instead of stabbing Verlox with it. He falls, but then the vizier runs up with a knife. Ansgar jumps out of a door and stops the vizier, and then Lina points the Sunspear at Verlox, who glows and then explodes. Woo!

The narrator says the kingdom celebrated all night, and then the paladins get to leave with cheers from the peasants. Lina says to never give up on yourself. They parade out, Lina holding the Sunspear over her head. Various people interview about how much they loved their time there and learned anything. Patrick offers to come back anytime. Heh. I think everyone had so much fun. Plus, I’m pretty sure they never mentioned a prize. Did Lina do all that for nothing? I feel like these contestants are the kind of people who love this thing so much they won’t mind not winning money or anything.

Epilogue: someone comes to free the vizier, who is like “What took you so long?” Who was it? Was it Herra? Or Ansgar, since he did seem to conveniently escape the enemy? I guess we’ll never know.

This was such a great show. I thought it might be too cheesy, but everyone bought into the story and instead I geeked out when people did stuff like that. I could not stay in character that long. I wish that more people had watched it. but I loved writing about it, because sometimes only writing about crappy shows gets old. But thanks for reading and let’s hope for another season!