Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Top Chef:All Stars 3/30/11--"Finale" summary

Previously on “Top Chef: All Stars”: quite a good all-star season, as all-star seasons of reality shows go. Sadly, one by one the most well-liked chefs were eliminated, until only two were left. Mike and Richard. Guess I’m rooting for Richard. Last week the chefs had to revisit “classic” Quickfire twists, and then cook the last suppers of some celebrity chefs. Antonia got stuck with Morimoto, very far from what she normally makes, and then there was another twist where she had to cook an amuse bouche vs. Mike and then she lost. It was sad. (click for more)

They make us watch Antonia again, like I didn’t feel bad enough for her last week. Mike pretends he feels bad for her. He also pretends he’s better than Richard. Richard, for his part, says he already beat her once, which is true, so he’d rather be up against Antonia right now. Padma and Tom show up and tell them congratulations and then explain their last challenge, which is to…make the restaurant of their dreams? That’s different.

New intro, with all of Richard’s wins and Mike’s smirking. Richard knows Mike is running hot in the Bahamas, as he’s been winning. But Richard has won more overall, I think.

I was expecting the usual “meal of your lives” challenge. Richard says the kitchen was his first home for a while. They need to make a four course tasting menu. Padma will tell them the rest in the morning. Mike says he quit his job and missed his honeymoon.

In the morning the boys plan, and Richard says he’s the underdog and has an underdog mentality. Even though he’s won twice as many challenges as Mike and he always hates his food but is offended when he doesn’t win. Mike says everyone expects Richard to win, which is true. Richard doesn’t want the pressure of being the favorite because of his choking last time.

All of the eliminated contestants are waiting in the kitchen with Padma. She’s briefing them without Richard and Mike, because they are going to be assigned by challenge. They all have 30 minutes to make an amuse bouche for the two finalists to taste. Richard and Mike talk about who they will pick, because they of course know it’s very likely that eliminated contestants will show up to help them. They always do that.

When Richard and Mike show up, they find the dishes waiting for them. Why already made? Because it’s a BLIND tasting. Ha! Richard looks horrified while Mike looks irritated. I love it. Richard is trying to figure out who made what, but he can’t, so he just goes by taste. Mike really wants Jen, and not Marcel, but he also can’t figure out which dishes belong to who. Richard wants DaleT, Jen, and Angelo. Richard picks out Spike first. There’s a weird joke about jet ski reservations? I guess Spike didn’t think he’d be picked so he made jet ski reservations for an hour after the challenge? I’m not sure. I guess some people were looking forward to a Bahamas vacation. Mike picks Tiffani. He tried to pick Jen but failed. Richard manages to find Angelo next, and that is one of the people he wanted so he‘s happy. Mike gets stuck with Jamie. Love it. Richard’s final pick ends up being Antonia, which is great, but he wonders if she’s mentally OK since she just went home. Mike gets Carla. Mike has three girls, so he makes a Charlie’s Angels joke. Disgusting. Shut up, Mike.

1 hour to plan, 5 hours to cook tomorrow. There will be 70 customers, plus the judges. I think both the boys have a plan already, they’re just telling the sous chefs what’s going on. Richard’s assigning courses to his sous chefs. Tiffani and Carla are telling Mike what dishes he should do, but he’s sticking to his guns. Richard is calling his restaurant “Tongue & Cheek”. Sigh. Richard interviews that Mike’s strengths are his confidence and his swagger, but those are his weaknesses also.

Someone tell me if anything interesting happens on “Watch What Happens”. I refuse to support Andy Cohen, plus I know there’s a reunion next week so I’m sure they’ll save anything good for then.

I think they had options of what restaurant they can take over? The décor and things like that aren’t part of the challenge. Mike says he‘s matured and he couldn‘t have handled this back when he was on the show the first time. Richard has stopped being creative just to be creative. Mike gives instructions to the waiters and picks out wine and gives instructions to his sous chefs. Tiffani’s working fish, Jamie has the cold station, Carla on desserts and front of house. Richard’s got lots of proteins and an amuse bouche. Angelo has cold items, Antonia has vegetables, and Spike has dessert and front of house. Richard admits his dessert is the least thought out, mostly because he changed his idea just now from Cap’n Crunch to foie gras ice cream. Ew. He hopes his risk pays off.

Tom time! Mike is already in the weeds. Tom tells him that no one thought he’d be here. Heh. He goes to talk to Richard, and my cable decides now would be a good time to freeze up. Awesome. Screw you, Charter. I had to watch the replay to find out what happened. Anyway, Richard loves his team of sous chefs, and Tom asks him what could go wrong with his plan, sort of “Why don’t you think of all the ways you could choke again?” Tom interviews that organization is key, and this tests how well these two can be bosses. Richard says his sous chefs are making his dishes better. Mike is behind time-wise. Richard’s amuse bouche oysters might not be worth serving. People start showing up, and Richard says that he might be doomed to never win.

Richard has an amuse bouche, raw oyster with crème fraiche pearls and salsa verde. He debates serving it but decides it’s cool. Padma tells him the guest judges include Lidia Bastianich and Hubert Keller. Oh, Lidia isn’t judging. Weird. Alfred Portale, and the Terlato guy. He’s a sponsor so, eh. Richard says nice things about everyone but Terlato, I think. He tells the judges that his concept is whimsy and the spirit of things chefs like to eat. They like the oyster. Spike, in his asshat and a flannel shirt (…sigh) is hovering and pretending not to eavesdrop. Turns out Richard told him to do it. First course: raw hamachi with fried veal sweetbreads, garlic mayonnaise, and pickled celery. They like the way the flavors all work together. We see some eliminated chefs eating too.

Carla greets the other judges in Mike’s restaurant. She pretends to be happy to see Marcel. Mike gets Tom, Gail, Art Smith, and Curtis Stone. He’s named his restaurant “Iz”, for “Isabella” I guess. He describes his concept like this: “We’re an American style restaurant, kitchen and bar, very casual but elegant food, you know, good food, all the dishes are going to be reinspired with an Italian influence flavor profile that I grew up with as a kid”. Makes no sense. First course: spiced beets with mozzarella, truffle & chocolate vinaigrette. The chocolate is subtle and the whole dish is composed. His second course is slow coming out. Halibut with kumquat marmalade, cauliflower puree and pancetta crumbs. Curtis likes the presentation, and Tom says that this fish is the best cooked fish he’s had on this show. It’s making them forget the wait.

Back to Richard. Second course: pork belly, black cod cutlet, bone marrow, bets, Brussels sprouts and kumquat. He says it’s exactly what he wants to display, food you want to eat. Isn’t that what everyone wants to serve? I mean…it’s like a designer on “Project Runway” saying they want to make fashion. They really like it. Third course is beef short rib with mushrooms, red cabbage marmalade, and celery root horseradish puree. Yum. It’s not creative but it’s delicious, say the judges.

Mike made sure his braised pork shoulder is glazed because apparently Tom is always complaining that the meat isn’t glazed. Braised pork shoulder with pepperoni sauce, roasted cabbage and turnips. All the other judges talk about how great it is, and eventually Tom says this is better than most dishes in past finales. Fourth course: rosemary caramel custard and pine nuts with citrus, celery, and apple. The custard isn’t cooked properly, although the flavor goes over well.

Richard serves his dessert of cornbread with foie gras ice cream and whipped mango. He admits the ice cream might be gritty. Spike goes in the kitchen and says the ice cream is the problem, and maybe before the other judges show up he can rework it, which Richard takes as good advice. The judges think he did a good job. Both he and Mike relax briefly before the next round. The judges think Mike did a good job too.

Commercial interlude: the sous chefs talk about how they respect the people they’re working for. Everyone except Spike.

The judges get to eat at the other restaurant. They say the same stuff about Mike that the first round said. And they say the same things about Richard. Art does mention that Richard has served two complicated platings in a short amount of time, and he must have good helpers. I think the ice cream goes over better the second time around, though, as Richard and Spike messed with it between seatings.

Judges’ Table. Mike pretends he’d be OK with Richard winning. I mean…I’m not condemning him for that, most people wouldn’t be OK with losing. Padma and Tom tell them this was the best food in any finale, and they both did a great job. Richard is about to have a breakdown, while Mike says he’s happy. Mike’s restaurant was subtle and had finesse. His steamed fish was perfect, and the pepperoni sauce was “serious” according to Gail, and Hubert says he needs to serve it at his restaurant when he opens one. Tom does tell him the custard was not cooked properly. Richard had strong flavors that were “clean” and all blended well. Padma says the black cod was flawless. His beef dish was safe, says Tom, but was perfectly done. Tom then asks what the difference was with the ice cream, because he knows the two groups got different ice creams. He says he listened to what they were saying, and that the presentation was softer. Mike says he should win because this is who he is, and it would mean the world to him, and this is everything he wants in life. Richard says pretty much the same thing, except that his restaurant is about the guests. He then says this would mean his own restaurant…so did he not own the burger joint he opened?

Back in the Stew Room Richard says everyone loved Mike and he’s won. They argue about how they didn’t win. Mike admits he’ll feel like shit if he loses. Richard offers him some of his winnings. Heh. They hear people coming, and it turns out it’s family members. Richard’s wife couldn’t come (very pregnant) but his uncle is here, and Mike’s wife and parents, I think.

Richard’s amuse was great. First course goes to Richard, Tom says, because the hamachi beat the beet salad outright. Second course also goes to Richard, because of the black cod. Padma points out that Tom said Mike’s second course of fish was the best he’d ever tasted on Top Chef, and Tom says “That was before I tasted Richard’s.” Oh snap! They liked both third courses very much, but Richard’s dish was safer than pepperoni sauce, so Mike gets this round. They seem to be split on dessert, because they had different ice creams from Richard. Padma gets them to agree that in general, the guest “judges” were more receptive to Mike’s dessert. Gail says she’d eat at Mike’s on a weekday, but Richard’s on the weekends. Tom says they’re both really successful, but only one can win.

All the eliminated contestants plus family members are waiting to cheer and find out the winner. Padma reminds them of the prizes. Tom tells them that they both have great careers ahead of them, and they both are worthy of the title. But there is only one winner, and that winner is Richard! WOO! Everyone comes to mob him, but some people come to comfort Mike. Whatever! Mike lost! He’s so happy. Mike says “I feel like I beat him, but I didn’t get the prize”. Shut up Mike. Richard calls his wife in confessional, and she can’t believe it, and it’s so cute.

Actually, I’m watching stupid Andy Cohen while I edit, and Carla just won fan favorite. As told by Harold, who walked onto the set and drank Andy’s cocktail, which was funny.

Next week: reunion time.
Clicky clicky

Monday, March 28, 2011

TAR18, Recap Leg 6, 3/27/11

Welcome to Leg 6! Last time, on We’re Kunming, Phil, We’re Kunming!, teams continued their jaunt through China. The Goths got a penalty for taking a flight other than the required flight. Not like it was their choice. The Double U-Turn got wisely used by the Goths against the Cheerios, and they were swiftly eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Jet/Cord, The Cowboy Brothers
2nd – Gary/Mallory , The Hillbillies
3rd – Margie/Luke, Team ASL
4th – Kisha/Jen, Team Bathroom
5th – Kent/Vyxsin, Team Goth
6th – Flight Time/Big Easy, The Globetrotters
7th – Ron/Christina, Team Asian
8th – Zev/Justin, Team Aspergers

Green Lake Park, Kunming, China
Jet/Cord (1st) Clue: Make your way to Jin Fu Yi Zhan Tea Shop and take part in a traditional tea tasting of Papaya-Mango infused tea. Once complete, the shop owner will give teams a brick of tea and their next clue.


Jet and Cord are missing their kids. (Toyouke: “They have KIDS!?!?! Not only are the cowboys taken but they have little baby cowboys! *whimper*”)

Gary/Mallory (2nd)
Margie/Luke (3rd)
Kisha/Jen (4th)
Kent/Vyxsin (5th)
Flight Time/Big Easy (6th)
Ron/Christina (7th)
Zev/Justin (8th)


Teams then arrive at the tea shop as follows:

1- Gary/Mallory – Mallory: “I love this peach flavor! It’s like the tea parties I had as a kid!” (Toyouke: “Oh Mallory. Of course you had tea parties. I bet you make Gary dress up and play with you.”)
2- Jet/Cord
3- Margie/Luke
4- Kisha/Jen
5- Kent/Vyxsin
6- Flight Time/Big Easy
7- Ron/Christina
– who ask the shop owner what flavor the tea is in Chinese. Good call. (Auburnium0513: “I feel like Ron and Christina are going to have a big advantage knowing what kind of tea it was. If they can remember "papaya" and "mango" that can help.”)
8- Zev/Justin
– and Zev is in his pajamas. (Toyouke: “Silver pajamas. Sigh.”)

Teams get their tea and their next clue which instructs them to take a flight to Kolkata, India, and make their way to Town Hall to get their next clue.

Teams arrive at the airport in the following order:

1- Gary/Mallory
2- Jet/Cord
3- Margie/Luke
4- Kisha/Jen
5- Kent/Vyxsin
6- Flight Time/Big Easy
7- Ron/Christina
8- Zev/Justin

The Amazing Red Line then flies the 900 miles to India and arrive in Kolkata in the following order:

1- Flight Time/Big Easy
2- Gary/Mallory
3- Zev/Justin
4- Kisha/Jen
5- Ron/Christina
6- Jet/Cord
7- Margie/Luke
8- Kent/Vyxsin


They take taxis and arrive at Town Hall in the following order:

1- Flight Time/Big Easy
2- Zev/Justin
3- Kisha/Jen
4- Kent/Vyxsin
5- Ron/Christina
6- Gary/Mallory
7- Margie/Luke
8- Jet/Cord


Teams arrive only to find the hours of operation set at 10 am. (Toyouke: “Open at 10am. LAME.”) Thus, there is much camping. When the gates open, teams arrive at the clue box in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen
2- Zev/Justin
3- Margie/Luke
4- Flight Time/Big Easy
5- Kent/Vyxsin
6- Gary/Mallory
7- Ron/Christina
8- Jet/Cord


Once they arrive, teams get the fifth roadblock clue.

ROADBLOCK: Who’s ready to drink in the scenery?

In this roadblock, one team member must get a papaya and a mango and take it to the tea maker, who will infuse the flavors with the brick of tea. Then, roadblockers must taste tea to find the one that matches the tea from China. Once they find it and drink it, the tea maker will give them a bottle of Snapple, which has their clue on the lid.


(Toyouke: “Obviously I would make you take this roadblock. But...I don't know that the descriptor was enough to know we would need your tasting skills.”)

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- Kisha
2- Zev
3- Luke
4- Flight Time
5- Kent
6- Mallory
7- Ron
8- Jet


(Toyouke: “I feel like at some point you would just drink tea and run up there with guesses. Like, back and forth with every cup.” AuburniumDude: “So, a black guy, a deaf guy and a guy with Apsergers walk into a tea tasting....")

After much tea drinking, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Ron/Christina
– where Ron’s nose got them the right tea immediately.
2- Jet/Cord
3- Kisha/Jen
– "Bout to drink this Snapple." (Toyouke: “Yes, do that.”)
4- Kent/Vyxsin
5- Gary/Mallory
6- Zev/Justin
7- Flight Time/Big Easy
8- Margie/Luke
– (Toyouke: “I feel Swedish Roulette. He had 4 cups left.” Auburnium0513: “No, I think he was bringing them up in groups at the end.”)

Teams are now instructed to make their way to the Jorashanko area and find the Tiwari Tea Stall. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Kent/Vyxsin
2- Gary/Mallory
3- Ron/Christina
4- Kisha/Jen
– who win the award for resourcefulness, as they didn’t pop the cap until they were within feet of the stall. (Toyouke: “Sigh...open the bottle, girls.”)
5- Jet/Cord
6- Zev/Justin
7- Flight Time/Big Easy
8- Margie/Luke


And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR: Hindu Art OR Bengali Literature
*Hindu Art: Teams make their way to a statuary shop and paint a model of the Hindu god Ganesha to match a model. Once completed correctly, teams get their clue from the shop owner.
*Bengali Literature: Teams make their way to a publishing shop and pick up eight stacks of children’s textbooks. Then, teams find a rickshaw schoolbus and have the driver take them to the school in order to deliver the books to the headmistress. Once there, she will given them their next clue.


1- Gary/Mallory choose Bengali Literature
– (Toyouke: “That's a SCHOOL BUS?! That is a cage for circus animals.”)
2- Kent/Vyxsin choose Hindu Art
– (Toyouke: “I guess this Detour was made for Kent and Vxysin.”)
3- Ron/Christina choose Hindu Art
4- Kisha/Jen choose Hindu Art
5- Zev/Justin choose Bengali Literature
6- Jet/Cord choose Bengali Literature
7- Flight Time/Big Easy choose Hindu Art
8- Margie/Luke choose Hindu Art


Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Gary/Mallory
2- Kent/Vyxsin
3- Kisha/Jen
4- Ron/Christina
5- Zev/Justin
6- Jet/Cord
7- Flight Time/Big Easy
8- Margie/Luke


Teams get their clue and find that they must now make their way to the Fountain of Joy at the Victoria Memorial, the PIT STOP of the sixth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Gary/Mallory – who win the opportunity to be the first to taste the Amazing Race Special Edition Snapple. (Auburnium0513: "You're number one, your only prize is to be the first to DRINK MORE TEA!!") But then, Snapple also treats them to an Indian Feast, traditional performance, and 1 million rupees (about $20000). Not bad.
2- Jet/Cord
3- Ron/Christina
4- Zev/Justin
5- Kent/Vyxsin
6- Kisha/Jen
7- Flight Time/Big Easy
8- Margie/Luke

And Margie and Luke are eliminated. Aw. No more cute boy.


ORDER NOW:
1st – Gary/Mallory
2nd – Jet/Cord
3rd – Ron/Christina
4th – Zev/Justin
5th – Kent/Vyxsin
6th – Kisha/Jen
7th – Flight Time/Big Easy


Next week: More India! Kisha and Jen learn how to deal with poop. And Zev doesn’t like India. Shocking. See you in two weeks!
Clicky clicky

Thursday, March 24, 2011

TAR18, Recap Leg 5, 3/20/11

Welcome to Leg 5! Last time, on I’m Lijiang on a Jet Plane, teams raced from Japan to China. The Goths can’t figure out how to get to Narita Airport and miss the required flight to Kunming. Everyone else manages to make it to the Pit Stop. . . where they are informed to keep going. And the Goths lose their fanny pack, find it, and end up with a thirty minute penalty at the end of the leg. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Margie/Luke, Team ASL
2nd – Jet/Cord, The Cowboy Brothers
3rd – Gary/Mallory , The Hillbillies
4th – Ron/Christina, Team Asian
5th – Kisha/Jen, Team Bathroom
6th – Flight Time/Big Easy, The Globetrotters
7th – Jaime/Cara, The Cheerios
8th – Zev/Justin, Team Aspergers
9th – Kent/Vyxsin, Team Goth

Eternal Tower, Lion Hill, Lijiang, China

Margie/Luke (1st)
Clue: Take the train 400 miles back to Kunming, China. Once there, make your way to the Dounan Flower Market to get your next clue. WARNING: There is a Double U-Turn somewhere on the leg.

Jet/Cord (2nd)
Gary/Mallory (3rd)
Ron/Christina (4th)
Kisha/Jen (5th)
Flight Time/Big Easy (6th)
Jaime/Cara (7th)
Zev/Justin (8th)
Kent/Vyxsin (9th)
– who are in the process of finishing the last leg when the episode starts. For all of you that were left in suspense: they find the fanny pack, do the Hammer Detour, head to the mat, get greeted by Phil and a 30 minute penalty at the end of this leg, but keep racing with the pack. (Toyouke: “They already left 6 hours after the first flight, and you're going to give them a 30 minute penalty on top of it?! What for? Maybe if you didn't have so much BUNCHING.”)

Teams then arrive at the train station as follows:

1- Margie/Luke
2- Jet/Cord
3- Gary/Mallory
4- Ron/Christina
5- Kisha/Jen


6- Flight Time/Big Easy
7- Jaime/Cara
8- Zev/Justin
9- Kent/Vyxsin

Margie and Luke arrive at the train station, only to find that the first train out to Kunming doesn’t leave until 7:05 PM. And everyone makes the train. In the meantime, Flight Time, Kisha and Jet play Big Easy, Jen and Cord in three on three basketball, which is quite entertaining. (Toyouke: “I love this basketball game, so much fun. This is what I imagine Pit Stops used to be like before everyone started to strategize and get on the internet and who knows what.” Auburnium0513: “Love the basketball game. And then the cheerleaders killed it.”) And Kent and Vyxsin lie about what happened to them in Japan, so as to avoid the potential of a U-turn. (Toyouke: “Why are you telling this stupid story about how your car broke down and you don't know what your penalty is?”)

Teams take the train and arrive in Kunming in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen
2- Ron/Christina
3- Zev/Justin
4- Margie/Luke
5- Jaime/Cara
6- Kent/Vyxsin
7- Jet/Cord
8- Gary/Mallory
9- Flight Time/Big Easy

They take taxis and arrive at the flower market in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen
2- Zev/Justin
3- Ron/Christina
4- Margie/Luke
5- Jaime/Cara
6- Kent/Vyxsin
7- Jet/Cord
8- Gary/Mallory
9- Flight Time/Big Easy

Teams are then instructed to make their way by taxi to the Golden Horse and Jade Cock Arch to get their next clue. (Toyouke: “Golden arches...sigh. “ Auburnium0513: “They DID go to McDonald's!”) They arrive in the following order:

1- Ron/Christina
2- Zev/Justin
3- Margie/Luke
4- Kisha/Jen
5- Flight Time/Big Easy
6- Jaime/Cara
7- Kent/Vyxsin
8- Gary/Mallory
9- Jet/Cord

And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Honor the Past OR Embrace the Future

*Honor the Past: Teams travel to a theater and watch a Tibetan performance. Once they’ve watched the show, they must place 15 dolls on a stage in the same order in which they appeared in the performance to get their next clue.
*Embrace the Future: Teams must go to the China Great Wall Management Assets Company and set up a solar heating system on the roof after carrying the parts up the stairs. Once complete, teams get their next clue.

1- Ron/Christina choose Honor the Past
2- Zev/Justin choose Honor the Past
3- Margie/Luke choose Embrace the Future
4- Kisha/Jen choose Honor the Past
5- Jaime/Cara choose Embrace the Future
6- Kent/Vyxsin choose Embrace the Future
7- Jet/Cord choose Embrace the Future
8- Gary/Mallory choose Honor the Past
9- Flight Time/Big Easy choose Embrace the Future

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Zev/Justin
2- Kisha/Jen
3- Ron/Christina
4- Margie/Luke
5- Jaime/Cara
6- Jet/Cord
7- Kent/Vyxsin
8- Gary/Mallory
9- Flight Time/Big Easy

Teams are now instructed to travel to a location in the provided photo. Teams are to find the pictured location, the Yunaan Province Chinese Minority Heritage Center.

CAUTION: DOUBLE U-TURN AHEAD

This is a Double U-Turn. Teams may choose to u-turn any team they wish (well, the team has to be behind them), but they may only use the U-Turn once during the race. If a team is u-turned, they must go back to the Detour choices and complete the Detour that they did not complete. This U-Turn is doubled, meaning two teams may U-Turn two other teams. Phil, during his explanation, does not say how many U-Turns there will be on this race.

(Toyouke: “So the question is, if someone U-Turns me, can I still U-Turn someone else?”)

1-Margie/Luke choose not to U-Turn
2-Jet/Cord choose not to U-Turn
3-Kent/Vyxsin choose to U-Turn Jaime/Cara
– so, wait, hear them out. Last time they used a U-Turn, they U-turned a team in front of them. Poor decision. The Cheerios are telling them to U-Turn Flight Time and Big Easy, because they are a strong team. (Toyouke: “Don't listen to Cara and Jamie. You should U-Turn them.”) But Kent thinks that since they are 100% sure that the Cheerios are behind them, they should be U-Turned. Good move. (Toyouke: “That was better than a Hidden Immunity Idol double blindside on Survivor!”)
4-Jaime/Cara have been U-Turned and choose to U-Turn Flight Time/Big Easy– (Toyouke: “That answers my question. Aww, that means the Globetrotters are in trouble.”)
5-Zev/Justin cannot U-Turn – which is good, since them and the three teams after them all got directions to the Kunming Minority Heritage Center.
6-Gary/Mallory cannot U-Turn
7-Kisha/Jen cannot U-Turn
8-Ron/Christina cannot U-Turn
– (Toyouke: “I like that Christina can yell at the taxi driver in Chinese.“)
9-Flight Time/Big Easy have been U-Turned – (Toyouke: “I didn't think the Globetrotters were that far behind.)

So, the Cheerios and the Globetrotters head back to Honor the Past and complete the Detour. Once all this U-turn nonsense is taken care of, teams find their next clue, which tells them to travel outside of Kunming to the Stone Forest to get their next clue. They depart the clue box in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke
2- Jet/Cord
3- Kent/Vyxsin
4- Zev/Justin
5- Gary/Mallory
6- Kisha/Jen
7- Ron/Christina
8- Jaime/Cara
9- Flight Time/Big Easy

Teams arrive at the Stone Forest Clue Box in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen
2- Ron/Christina
3- Margie/Luke
4- Kent/Vyxsin
5- Jet/Cord
6- Flight Time/Big Easy
7- Jaime/Cara
8- Zev/Justin
9- Gary/Mallory

Once they arrive, teams get the fourth roadblock clue.

ROADBLOCK:

Who’s ready for a task 65 million years in the making?

In this roadblock, one team member must choose a dig site and find a complete set of dilophosaurus bones and put them together in the right order. Once the structure is structurally safe, teams get their next clue from the paleontologist.

(Toyouke: “Oh, I love making those models! Of course...smaller. And I'm willing to bet that's not a real paleontologist.”)

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- Kisha
2- Christina
3- Margie
4- Kent
5- Jet
6- Big Easy
7- Jaime
8- Justin
9- Gary
- and decide that since they are in last and it looks like a long task to use the Express Pass. (Toyouke: “I guess if you have to have a thing like the Express Pass, this is the right place to do it. You're in last, the task is long enough every team is still there, doesn't look like anything you can do quickly.”)

After much dinosaur construction and instruction on the correct placement of dinosaur hips (Auburnium0513: “I kind of feel like making a bad "beating a bone" joke.”), teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Gary/Mallory
2- Jet/Cord
3- Margie/Luke
4- Kisha/Jen
5- Kent/Vyxsin
6- Flight Time/Big Easy
7- Ron/Christina
8- Zev/Justin
9- Jaime/Cara

Teams get their clue and find that they must now make their way back to Kunming and find Green Lake Park, the PIT STOP of the fifth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Jet/Cord – who win $5000 each.
2- Gary/Mallory
3- Margie/Luke
4- Kisha/Jen
– who were actually fifth, but benefitted from the 30 minute penalty of. . .
5- Kent/Vyxsin
6- Flight Time/Big Easy
7- Ron/Christina
8- Zev/Justin
9- Jaime/Cara

And Jaime and Cara are eliminated. They are happy that they didn’t give up. But what’s Luke going to do now without his race girlfriends?

ORDER NOW:
1st – Jet/Cord
2nd – Gary/Mallory
3rd – Margie/Luke
4th – Kisha/Jen
5th – Kent/Vyxsin
6th – Flight Time/Big Easy
7th – Ron/Christina
8th – Zev/Justin

Next week: India! And Luke can’t finish his tea. (Kmanpat: “Don’t worry, Luke, I’ll help you drink your tea.”) Until next time!


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Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Top Chef:All Stars 3/23/11--"Last Supper" summary

Previously on “Top Chef: All Stars”: everyone had to pair up and make 100 identical dishes, which is a good challenge that asks for skills you need to run a restaurant. Something this show doesn’t do all the time. Antonia and Tiffany won, which pissed off the boys which was fun. Then they had to go to a deserted island and make dishes with conch, which they had to catch themselves. Hilarity ensued, sort of. Mike won, which was kind of sad because I’m tired of Mike winning. Richard did not win, which is kind if interesting when you remember that he always hates everything he does. But then he gets offended when he doesn’t win. Tiffany’s chowder got cold because she plated too early and it was windy, and also it was kind of sweet, so she went home. (click for more)

The boys talk about how Tiffany was strong. Mike says she should be proud, but the three strongest competitors are still there. Shut up, Mike. Richard says Mike is on a streak, but he’s not worried. Antonia feels the two boys are expecting to dominate but “that’s not going to happen.”

Padma greets the final 3 with Wolfgang Puck. This is the last Quickfire. Padma promises it will be different from anything else. The producers picked out 7 “classic” Quickfires, and they will assign the challenge to their competitors. Mike gets to go first, and he picks Antonia and the canned food challenge. Which I think was to make stuff with only canned ingredients. Antonia gets to pick for Richard, and she picks hot dogs. Richard claims to believe that hot dogs are close to Wolfgang Puck’s heart, as he is Austrian. Uh huh. Mike gets stuck with the one pot challenge. Richard could only think of how Mike wanted like 7 sauté pans in some other challenge, but Antonia points out that he now has access to every ingredient he wants. Plus if my memory serves me correctly, you can cook something, clean out the pot and cook something else. I remember being irritated that people did that.

45 minutes to cook. Antonia I think is thrown. She’s grabbing spices. Mike is making pork and beans in a pressure cooker. Richard can’t make his own hot dogs, so he is trying to make his own bread. Really? He’s also making ketchup, which somehow will have hot dogs cooked in it. I guess as flavoring. Padma appears, and everyone immediately knows something is up. Obviously. She says that they will each assign a “classic Top Chef twist” to someone else: cooking with one hand, finishing the dish with no knives or hand tools, or three-legged races with Carla. That time they had double aprons? Remember? Eeeehhhhh. Richard makes Mike cook with no utensils, which he already did once this season. Antonia has a choice between cooking with one hand, and cooking attached to Carla, and she picks Carla. So Richard is stuck one-handed. Hee.

Mike, luckily, has cut up a bunch of stuff already, so he claims to be in really good shape and is standing around. Antonia and Carla seem to be figuring it out, and Antonia especially is pissed that Mike is laughing at them. Richard is noticing Mike is standing around and maybe that was not the best choice of twist. Antonia is asking Carla to taste her food. Richard tries to cut up hot dogs, which is kind of funny. Mike’s food isn’t right, so he’s blasting it at high temperature and hoping for the best. Richard wants to win. Of course. Mike says his pork is tough.

Antonia: curry coconut soup with shrimp, andouille sausage, peanuts, and fish sauce. They like it. Richard: hot dog on handmade roti bread with curry ketchup, mayo, and mint leaves. He calls it “currywurst”. Yeah. Wolfgang thinks he could feed it to his kids. It does sound good. Mike: pork shoulder with black beans, chili paste, ginger, and cabbage salad. They like the salad. Mike thinks that since Richard was so simple he’s a shoe-in. Uh huh.

Richard’s was too ketchupy, but it was a nice sandwich. Antonia’s soup was delicious, if too concentrated. Mike’s balance was pretty good, but the pork was tough. The winner is Mike. UGH. He wins $5000.

They go to The Cloisters, where there are “special guests”. We see Wolfgang, Michelle Bernstein, and Masaharu Morimoto. Everyone is intimidated. They freak out even more when the Elimination Challenge is revealed: cook the “last supper” of one of these chefs. Richard tells us in confessional that sometimes your favorite meal is not what you cook on a daily basis. Like, maybe Morimoto wants a cheeseburger. Oh, man, you guys better hope so, because I’ve eaten dinner at Morimoto’s restaurant, and I’m not sure any of you are up to it. Mike wants to cook for Michelle, and he gets to because he won the Quickfire. He says she told him he over seasoned something during his season, so this is a nice second chance. He also gets to assign the other two, so he gives Morimoto to Antonia and Wolfgang to Richard. Being smart for once, because Richard is closer to Morimoto’s style. He also says he wants to throw Antonia, and that Richard is “one of the best Top Chefs of all time” and he wants to beat the best in the final, which would be Richard. Could it be because you’re a jerk and you don’t want to lose to a girl? Blah. Padma tells them there is one final twist, secreted in an envelope, to be opened later. Only two people are making the finale, which is a first. Usually there are three.

Wolfgang wants good Austrian food. His mom got him into cooking. It sounds like he wants his favorite meal from his childhood, and it’s going to be compared to his mother’s cooking, and that is hard. He really wants apple strudel, which Richard has no recipe for. Michelle wants fried chicken and biscuits and gravy. For her, it’s the opposite of what she got at home. Mike is not worried, of course, but he seems concerned on giving her his own take on fried chicken, which she might not like. Morimoto wants Japanese food. Ooohhhhh, poor Antonia. She says she might not ever eat Japanese food again because of the scarring from this challenge.

Back in the hotel Antonia gives Mike crap for screwing her twice over in both challenges. He tries to accuse her of wanting it easy, but she claims to be happy to have Morimoto. If she pulls it off, it’ll be awesome. That’s true. Then Mike tries to tell her she has the easy one, and he and Richard have the challenges. Antonia calls him on his bullshit and says if that was so, then why didn’t he take Morimoto? He says because he knew Michelle would be the biggest challenge. Antonia pretty much rolls her eyes. Mike doesn’t know how to make biscuits, so he’s making empanadas. He gets like, offended that they aren’t line cooks and says they must be creative. Richard is not going classic either. He interviews that he and Antonia have a whole new culture to understand, and Mike doesn’t. Mike says Richard probably thought Antonia would be his competition, and instead he is. Antonia doesn’t want to get eliminated like last time. She’s crying, and I hope that’s not because she gets eliminated and this is afterwards.

In the morning, everyone freaks out. Mike paces, Antonia giggles hysterically. Richard panics, as he does.

3 hours to cook. Everyone kind of freaks out. Further. Tom time! Mike is cooking something sous vide. Tom interviews that Mike has the easiest dish. Richard admits Mike is on a roll, but claims to not care as long as he wins the finale. Antonia is quietly freaking out, but Tom tells us that while her dish might be simple, if it’s perfect it’ll be fine. Antonia’s fish is about to go bad. Uh oh. She’s supposed to have sashimi but she can’t if the fish is bad. Richard can’t open the pressure cooker, and it gives him flashbacks to how he choked his season finale. Richard says he’s won more challenges than anyone else ever, but not the finale.

The judges come in, along with the author of the book “The Last Supper”, which is about basically this challenge. Antonia is substituting tuna for the hamachi that has gone bad, and she says it doesn’t have the flavor but I mean…can’t serve rancid fish. She’s still crying in her interview and that doesn’t look good.

Antonia: tuna sashimi with pickled daikon, mushrooms and eggplant, miso soup, and rice. It’s all in a bento box and it’s cute. The miso is too salty but Morimoto says he doesn’t dislike it. Gail chokes, apparently because there are Scotch Bonnet peppers on the sashimi. Various people like different things, but Tom says that Japanese food is subtle, and this is not. Yeah. Scotch Bonnets?

Mike: fried chicken with pea puree, egg yolk empanada, and mustard gravy. Michelle admits she gave him creative license. She also likes the empanada. The white meat seems to be dry, and Tom says when you sous vide things the batter won’t stick. Michelle seems to like it.

Richard: beef goulash, spaetzle with sour cream and apple strudel with tarragon cream. Wolfgang seems to like it, although Tom wishes it was hotter in temperature. Backstage everyone thinks they screwed up badly. Michelle likes that Mike was creative, but Wolfgang wants food like his mother. Morimoto knows Antonia had the hardest challenge, but her food wasn’t the best. Richard managed to balance old school with his own modernism.

They call the three out and Padma tells them that Judges’ Table is right now. Michelle says that the chicken wasn’t really juicy, and it was crispy but the breading didn’t stick. Richard’s goulash was the exact right flavor, but the spaetzle was tough. Morimoto thanks Antonia, that it wasn’t what he expected, and the miso soup was salty but interesting. Tom then says that Richard will be cooking in the finale. Did he win? I don’t think he cares. He’s proud to have made it to the finale again. Padma addresses Antonia and Mike, and then pulls out the envelope again. Everyone freaks out again, although I’m pretty sure Richard is very glad he’s already in the finale.

Commercial interlude: they talk about the envelope and how crazy it is. Bravo, how about you SHUT UP and just get back to the show already?

Padma gives the envelope to Antonia, who reads that there will be one more challenge to see who joins Richard in the finale. They have 45 minutes to make one bite. 7 people, 7 bites. Hmm. I don’t know if I like this.

They’re both tired. Mike talks about high end product, creativity, whatever. I’m tired of him. Antonia has some fish and curry. She knows it’s her second chance to be connected to her food. Mike says he believes in his dish. Antonia talks about how it’s her last chance to get to the finale. The judges discuss the pressure.

Antonia: seared grouper in coconut curry lobster broth with yam, apple, and dill pollen relish. Mike: tempura lobster over beef tartare with caramelized olives and chimichurri sauce. I will say that both of them look like more than one bite. Antonia’s dish is very strong, but Tom thinks that if you have one bite, you want to leave a strong impression. Morimoto thinks that since grouper is mild, she’s trying to put too many flavors in. At least, I think that’s what he’s saying, until he says he wants a bigger piece. Mike’s dish wasn’t a “wow”, but the caramelized olive sauce is good. You just have to eat it with everything else. Gail says if she had to eat one of the dishes again, she’d eat Mike’s, as would Michelle. Morimoto and Padma, and the book author pick Antonia. Tom says Mike’s dish was “one bite” and he prefers it. So it’s down to Wolfgang, who says he would remember Antonia’s flavor, but Mike’s techniques were perfect. Mike talks about how he’s freaking out, and he’s smirking but that might be his default expression.

Tom tells Antonia that her dish was very aggressively spiced, but used vegetables well and was all around “a good dish”. Mike’s tartare was bland, but the sauces added to the punch. Antonia is sent home. LAME. She’s very disappointed, and feels worse this time than last time. Poor Antonia.

Next time: the finale, finally. They must make the restaurant of their dreams. With eliminated contestants as sous chefs. Should be good.
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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Top Chef:All Stars 3/16/11--"Island Fever" summary

Previously on “Top Chef: All Stars”: the finalists went to the Bahamas and battled the people who won their seasons. It wasn’t that exciting. Then everyone was told they were making dinner for “royalty” but instead of actual royalty it was the King of Junkanoo. Oops. Then someone set the deep fryer on fire and they had to start their dishes over from scratch. Fun stuff. Mike won, and I guess he’s become a better cook but he’s still been a huge jerk. Carla second-guessed herself, again, and was sent home because her pork was raw. Sad times. (click for more)

Everyone’s sad to see Carla go, because everyone loves Carla. Antonia reminds us she was in the final 4 in her season, and she’s still figuring out what she’s doing. Mike brags that he’s on track.
At the hotel, someone says “let’s go see what’s in store”. Someone else says “probably cooking with not enough time or equipment.” Indeed.


Lorena Garcia is waiting for the contestants with Padma. I’ve been watching her on “Next Best Restaurant”, or whatever it’s called. See, and then Padma plugs the show. For the Quickfire, they must be consistent. Like a real chef, who has to make the same dish over and over again. They must divide themselves in pairs (Mike refuses to be paired with Antonia “The Black Hammer”) and serve 100 identical dishes in 1 hour. Padma and Lorena will randomly pick numbers to see what particular plate they get served.

The girls vs. the boys. Mike brags. Shut up, Mike. The boys are making pasta from scratch and pork. Richard says he’s been winning Quickfires and wants to win this one for momentum and intimidation. The girls are making seared beef tenderloin salad. Tiffany says they’re cooking everything in one batch so it will all taste the same. She is already starting to plate. Richard rolls his eyes at the girls and their “slice and serve” dish. I hope he and Mike are screwing themselves with their bragging. Antonia insists her plating is more difficult than the boys. They seem to have several components.

Richard and Mike: pork Bolognese with fresh macaroni and pecorino cheese. The plates look similar to each other. The pasta is good. Antonia and Tiffany: beef tenderloin salad with cilantro, mint, basil and chimichurri sauce. Their plates also look similar. Lorena praises their meat slicing. Mike says something, shut up Mike. It IS possible to express your confidence in your own food without rolling your eyes at everyone else’s food.

Lorena praises everyone, and then says that the winners are Tiffany and Antonia. Awesome. Antonia calls the boys “sour grapes salty losers”. Hee. They each get $5000.

For the Elimination challenge, the contestants will be making lunch for the yacht club. The theme for the party is “Deserted Island”. Which is where they are cooking. Richard thinks they will have nothing. But no, they will have to have to cook conch, so they‘ll at least have that. Mike complains that conch is difficult to work with, even though of course he’s been practicing with it.
In the morning, the boys primp. Richard says something about growing a beard in preparation for the finale. It‘s kind of scraggly, dude. Mike also is ready to go. Tiffany feels she can do anything. Antonia does not get a sound bite.

The contestants find Padma in a bikini top on a boat. Mike leers in a disgusting manner. Their time will start when their feet hit the beach on their deserted island. All they know is that they will have to use conch. Once they approach the island, it’s clear they’re probably cooking on the beach.

3 ½ hours to cook. On the beach are some crates with great fresh products, lobster, fish…and a crate labeled “Conch” which contains snorkels and fins. Ha! They have to go diving for their own conch. The boys strip off their shirts, with Richard interviewing the deep thought of “I don’t want to see Mike Isabella topless. And you don’t either.” True fact. So it looks like you can just dive down and the conch are just sitting around on the sand. Is that how it really is? Or did the producers plant them? Whatever, it’s entertaining to watch. The girls are pretty good at surface diving, although Richard is failing. He can’t get deep enough. Tiffany gives up on her snorkel and just holds her breath. Mike somehow gets a net full. Each chef has a wood grill and a table, and that‘s pretty much it. Antonia thinks everything will have sand in it. Apparently getting conch out of the shells involves a small pickaxe. Scary! Mike is boiling them first, he says that helps. Tiffany has never worked with conch. Uh oh. She’s behind time-wise. Antonia is going for conch tartare, I think, as is Tiffany. Tiffany has given herself the extra challenge of fresh coconut. Mike is using the conch as sauce, for grouper and pineapple. Richard is making noodles out of sweet potatoes. Suddenly everyone finds their chef’s jackets and puts them on over their swimsuits and shorts. Mike claims that he doesn’t pay attention to what everyone else is doing because he doesn’t care, and then promptly talks about Antonia‘s food and how it‘s not up to his food. Richard does not want to choke. Again. Everyone has trouble with the wood grills, I think. Mike says he is not having trouble but he complained his butter wasn’t melting. The guests are arriving and Antonia’s fire has gone out, or is about to. The yacht club told everyone to wear white to their party so they all match. Boo. Tiffany likes dishes with two different temperatures. Richard tells everyone he loves them, and then interviews to us that he hates whatever he does as soon as it’s on the plate. He hasn’t made anything “tropical”; he says it’s Hamptons instead.

Richard: sweet potato linguine with conch and spiny lobster. Lorena’s lobster is undercooked. Richard’s sweet potato is so much like pasta he fools Tom. Seriously? That’s pretty impressive. Tom says something about making pasta and Gail has to point out to him that it’s just raw sweet potato because hers was a little crunchy. Antonia gets her fire lit finally and hopes she was successful. Antonia: seared red snapper with conch tartare and lobster nage. Nage is sauce I think. The conch is very spicy. Lorena loves it, as do the guests, although Gail finds it spicy. Tom points out that the conch is cut up so small you can’t tell it’s there. Plus some fish is overcooked and some is undercooked. Tiffany is getting nervous because everyone is crowding her. She discovers she has finished plating with a couple of minutes left, and she’s concerned the flavors will be different. Tiffany: conch and coconut chowder with sweet potatoes and conch ceviche. The chowder is cold, which I’m pretty sure it was not supposed to be. Tom’s not impressed, but some of the guests like the flavors. Mike compares his dish to Elia’s, because of course HIS leaf-wrapped fish is far more sophisticated and better. Mike: banana leaf wrapped grouper, braised pineapple and conch vinaigrette. The fish is overwhelmed by the other flavors, and Tom doesn’t like the butter. Gail is impressed by his risk-taking. Richard says if he doesn’t win he’ll be devastated. Really? If you don’t win? If you still make it to the finals but aren‘t praised as the winner that‘s a horrible outcome?

Commercial interlude: for some reason “Gilligan’s Island” comes up. Mike is the Skipper, Richard is the Professor, and Mike thinks Tiffany is Ginger because “she kind of reminds me of a Ginger”. Whatever. Tiffany just rolls her eyes at the whole thing.

Oh look, a commercial for “Marcel’s Quantum Kitchen”. Shut up, Marcel.

The chefs sit around and talk about their dishes, and no one seems particularly confident. Tom starts by telling them that there was not one grain of sand in any of the dishes. Nicely done. Antonia had a good balance of sweetness and spiciness, and she says she was working to feel more “island-like”, for lack of a better term. Tom points out the problems he saw during service, the inconsistent cooking and the conch cut too small, and then Padma says Antonia’s dish was the most predictable and conventional in terms of presentation. Antonia says that’s a complement for her, because she wants them to be able to look at a plate and know it’s hers. Richard immediately says he hopes he’s showing uniqueness. Tom praises him for fooling him with the sweet potato pasta. He didn’t use “island” ingredients, but it worked anyway. But the lobster was undercooked. Tiffany says everything made sense to her today. They liked the idea, and the combinations of the ingredients, but the chowder was supposed to be hot and she admits it. Tom thinks it was a little sweet. Mike says he braised the pineapple in curry mix, I think, and Gail loved it. Tom did too, but he did not like the butter in the dish.

Mike thinks he had a good dish, but now he’s not so sure. All the dishes did what they were supposed to, in using the conch. Richard’s dish made a good connection between where he’s from and where he is now, and they really liked the sweet potato, but there is the random raw lobster. Antonia’s conch had the least impact, but it was very well done considering the conditions and Gail says there’s something to be said for pleasing your customers. The whole table liked it. They know Tiffany had a great idea, but the fact that it was too cold changed the entire dish. Tom doesn’t even understand why she was going to put cold ceviche on hot chowder. Gail loved Mike’s flavor combination, but the butter was really unnecessary.

Tom says it was very hard to pick a winner, but one person showcased the conch in a really unique way, and that is Mike. Ugh. Whatever. The choice of loser was also very hard, but one dish was just a bit less successful. And that dish is Tiffany’s. Oo. She says she was out cooked, bottom line. Aww, she’s upset. She is self taught and hasn’t cooked for any big-name chefs. She’s going to keep going because you will get further than you were before.

Next week: famous chefs’ “last supper”, something is rancid, Mike is still an arrogant jerk, something about an envelope.

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Tuesday, March 15, 2011

TAR18, Recap Leg 4, 3/13/11

Welcome to Leg 4! Last time, on Tokyo to the Limit, teams raced from Australia to Japan. The Cheerios hit someone, so they ended up in last for most of the leg. However, thanks to Mel and Mike being unable to find things in the dark and seem to find a way to get hypothermia, they end up in last place and are eliminated. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Zev/Justin, Team Aspergers
2nd – Gary/Mallory , The Hillbillies
3rd – Ron/Christina, Team Asian
4th – Kisha/Jen, Team Bathroom
5th – Flight Time/Big Easy, The Globetrotters
6th – Jet/Cord, The Cowboy Brothers
7th – Kent/Vyxsin, Team Goth
8th – Margie/Luke, Team ASL
9th – Jaime/Cara, The Cheerios

Commodore Perry Monument, Yokosuka, Japan

8:44 PM Zev/Justin (1st)
Clue: Fly 2700 miles to Li Jiang China! Once there, teams should make their way to Jade Dragon Mountain to get there next clue. Due to limited flights, teams are to take the purchased flight to Kunming, China, and then decide how to proceed to Li Jiang.

9:29 PM Gary/Mallory (2nd)
9:38 PM Ron/Christina (3rd)
– who comment on how they’ve been to Li Jiang in the past.
9:50 PM Kisha/Jen (4th)
10:01 PM Flight Time/Big Easy (5th)
– (Toyouke: “Hey, no one said anything about the Globetrotters' penalty.”)
10:34 PM Jet/Cord (6th)
11:33 PM Kent/Vyxsin (7th)
– Vyxsin decides this is PMA day: Positive Mental Attitude. Of course, this is before they get hopelessly lost in Japan, just like Italy.
11:52 PM Margie/Luke (8th)
12:42 AM Jaime/Cara (9th)
– who loathe China. (Toyouke: “The cheerleaders aren't as far behind as I thought they would be.”)

Teams then arrive at the airport as follows:

1- Zev/Justin
2- Gary/Mallory
3- Ron/Christina
4- Kisha/Jen
5- Jaime/Cara
6- Jet/Cord
7- Margie/Luke
8- Flight Time/Big Easy
9- Kent/Vyxsin
– (Toyouke: “Wow, they've been going the wrong way this whole time? Who drove to the ocean instead of the mountains in South America? Yeah.” Kmanpat: “Debbie and Bianca, TAR7.”)

(Toyouke: “Boo, bunching.”) The race scheduled an easy to make flight, but Kent and Vyxsin got so lost, they were unable to make it on board. Thus, the teams shake down as follows:

First Flight, Kunming, departs 9:30 AM
1) Zev/Justin
2) Gary/Mallory
3) Ron/Christina
4) Kisha/Jen
5) Jaime/Cara
6) Jet/Cord
7) Margie/Luke
8) Flight Time/Big Easy


Second Flight, Kunming, departs 3:30 PM
1) Kent/Vyxsin

(Toyouke: “Do you think they made them all get on the same flight so the Globetrotters' penalty wouldn't matter? So they could give them a penalty to satisfy Ron and Christina but it wouldn't affect anything because they had so much bunching?” Kmanpat: “No, I think they did it since they would have all gone for that flight anyway.”)

Teams arrive in Kunming. Once there, teams are allowed to chose how they make their way to Lijiang. (Toyouke: “I guess the train will get you there sooner if the flight leaves in the morning instead of that night.“) So, teams arrive at Wijiaba, and work their way to their transport in the following order:

First Train, Lijiang, departs 8:50 PM
1) Ron/Christina

Second Train, Lijiang, departs 10:16 PM
1) Zev/Justin
2) Gary/Mallory
3) Kisha/Jen
4) Jaime/Cara
5) Jet/Cord
6) Margie/Luke
7) Flight Time/Big Easy

Flight, Lijiang, departs 7 AM
1) Kent/Vyxsin

Teams are now instructed to travel to the shuttle to the top of Jade Mountain. They arrive in the following order:

1- Ron/Christina – (Toyouke: “Why are we spending time on this detour to get food? Foreshadowing?”)
2- Jaime/Cara
3- Margie/Luke
4- Kisha/Jen
5- Flight Time/Big Easy
6- Zev/Justin
7- Jet/Cord
8- Gary/Mallory
9- Kent/Vyxsin

Unfortunately, the shuttles don’t leave until 8 AM. (Toyouke: “I smell producer interference. "Kent and Vyxsin are so late! Let's make the bus leave later so everyone else isn't so far ahead of them." Screw that.“) Thus, most of the teams are together and arrive at the Jade Mountain Clue Box in the following order:

1- Jaime/Cara
2- Margie/Luke
3- Ron/Christina
4- Kisha/Jen
5- Jet/Cord
6- Flight Time/Big Easy
7- Gary/Mallory
8- Zev/Justin
9- Kent/Vyxsin

Teams are now instructed to ride a yak after saddling it. One team member must ride it across the river to get the next clue. Team members arrive at the clue in the following order:

1- Jaime
2- Margie
3- Ron
4- Kisha
5- Cord
– (Toyouke: “Oh look, something the cowboys don't fail at.“)
6- Flight Time
7- Mallory
8- Zev
9- Vyxsin

Teams complete the task in the following order:

1- Jaime/Cara
2- Margie/Luke
3- Gary/Mallory
4- Jet/Cord
5- Ron/Christina
6- Zev/Justin
7- Kisha/Jen
8- Flight Time/Big Easy
9- Kent/Vyxsin

Teams are now instructed to take a gondola to the top of the mountain and find Spruce Meadow. (Toyouke: “I'm glad to see most people not being stupid and running at 14,000 feet.”) Teams arrive at the clue box in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke
2- Jet/Cord
3- Jaime/Cara
4- Gary/Mallory
5- Flight Time/Big Easy
6- Kisha/Jen
7- Zev/Justin
8- Ron/Christina
9- Kent/Vyxsin
– who show up as Zev is hunting through the symbols. Kent and Justin proceed to discuss the repercussions of not taking the first flight. (Toyouke: “I guess technically they could get a penalty for not taking the proper flight, but the later flight already penalized them.”)

Once they arrive, teams get the third roadblock clue.

ROADBLOCK:

Who thinks they’re living the charmed life?

In this roadblock, one team member must search for the twelve animals of the zodiac amongst thousands hanging among the spruce trees. Once they find them, they must put them in the correct order on a mobile in order to get their next clue.

(Toyouke: “Oh...this roadblock SUCKS. I mean, it looks like they don't have decoy animals...and you can look at the sample...and then the ribbons are ordered by length so you can put them in the right order...maybe it doesn't suck that bad.”)

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- Luke
2- Cord
3- Cara
4- Mallory
5- Big Easy
6- Jen
7- Zev
– who gets very frustrated.
8- Christina
9- Vyxsin

After much zodiac symbol hunting, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Gary/Mallory
2- Ron/Christina
3- Margie/Luke
4- Jet/Cord
5- Flight Time/Big Easy
6- Jaime/Cara
7- Kisha/Jen
8- Zev/Justin
9- Kent/Vyxsin

Teams are now instructed to get themselves to Old Town Lijiang. Once there, teams should find the prayer wheel to find their next clue. Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke
2- Gary/Mallory
3- Ron/Christina
– who somehow take the wrong vehicle. (Toyouke: “Oh...MARKED. Come on.”)
4- Flight Time/Big Easy – who are polite and help out Ron and Christina by stopping their bus. (Toyouke: “I'm glad the Globetrotters stopped the bus.”)
5- Jet/Cord
6- Kisha/Jen
7- Jaime/Cara
8- Zev/Justin
9- Kent/Vyxsin
– after losing their fanny pack in the gondola on the way down the mountain.

Teams are now instructed to figure out their Chinese Zodiac sign, write a wish and place it in the correct slot on the prayer wheel. (Toyouke: “OK, now I KNOW the producers are just coming up with shit to waste time. "Write a wish and say your Chinese zodiac sign aloud"? Please.”) Teams complete the task in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke
2- Gary/Mallory
3- Ron/Christina
4- Jet/Cord
– (Toyouke: “Why is it not surprising in the least that Jet is a Monkey?”)
5- Kisha/Jen
6- Jaime/Cara
7- Flight Time/Big Easy
– who struggle with Flight Time’s sign. He’s a dragon, by the way.
8- Zev/Justin
9- Kent/Vyxsin

And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Hammer OR Horn
*Hammer: Teams use a mallet to pulverize hot molten candy and then cut it into pieces. Once complete, teams get their next clue.
*Horn: Teams must travel to a square and pick up a traditional horn and lead a procession to Wencheng Palace to get their next clue.

1- Margie/Luke choose Hammer
2- Gary/Mallory choose Hammer
3- Jet/Cord choose Hammer
4- Ron/Christina choose Hammer
5- Jaime/Cara choose Horn
– and then quickly make the first Bald Snark of the season to Hammer.
6- Kisha/Jen choose Hammer
7- Flight Time/Big Easy choose Horn
8- Zev/Justin choose Horn
9- Kent/Vyxsin choose Hammer

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Margie/Luke
2- Jet/Cord
3- Gary/Mallory
4- Kisha/Jen
5- Ron/Christina
6- Flight Time/Big Easy
7- Jaime/Cara
8- Zev/Justin
9- Kent/Vyxsin

Teams get their clue and find that they must now make their way to the top of Lion Hill nad find the Eternal Tower, the PIT STOP of the fourth leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive MAY be eliminated!

1- Margie/Luke – who win a trip for 2 to Aruba.
2- Jet/Cord
3- Gary/Mallory
4- Ron/Christina
5- Kisha/Jen
6- Flight Time/Big Easy
7- Jaime/Cara
8- Zev/Justin
9- Kent/Vyxsin

And Kent and Vyxsin are. . .not quite at the pit stop due to the missing fanny pack. Thus, there is more racing to do. In the meantime, all of the other teams are launched immediately on their next leg. (Toyouke: “This is SO STUPID. One double leg is more than enough. They got lost. They were stupid. Just let them fail. Also, you'll bend the rules for Kent and Vyxsin but not for Mike and Mel? The WHOLE POINT of this show is that there is NO producer interference.”)

ORDER NOW:
1st – Margie/Luke
2nd – Jet/Cord
3rd – Gary/Mallory
4th – Ron/Christina
5th – Kisha/Jen
6th – Flight Time/Big Easy
7th – Jaime/Cara
8th – Zev/Justin
9th – Kent/Vyxsin

Next week: We find out whether or not the Goths survive to race another day. And there is a Double U-Turn. This race gets better and better. (Toyouke: “Whatever, I'm still pissed about producer interference.”) Until next time!

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Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Top Chef:All Stars 3/9/11--"Fit for a King" summary

Previously on “Top Chef: All Stars”: Padma shows up to tell everyone to go to the roof. Then she tells them to go back down and get on a ferry, and make things based on the random junk food found in a ferry snack bar. Pretty much all the food was crap, but Carla made a fruit salad that ended up being exactly what everyone wanted. Everyone ended up on Ellis Island, and met up with loved ones, to talk about their personal history. The challenge was to make a dish based on your family history. Everyone turned out fantastic dishes, as usually happens. Antonia won, but no one was sent home. (click for more)

Antonia talks about winning. Everyone’s in the Bahamas greeting each other and remembering their finales (if they made it). Richard talks about how he choked in his finale episode. It’s…a rehash of things we’re already well aware of. Except that Mike says he trained during the off time he had.

There’s a fort, which they all walk towards. Hiding inside we see shots of Michael Voltaggio, Stephanie, Hosea, and Kevin Sbraga. These are the winners of each season these finalists were on. Ha! Eric Ripert is there with Padma and Tom. Mike is like, Voltaggio should be on my team. Oops! You are going head to head with the chef who won your season. Mike’s joy turns to cursing because Voltaggio kicked his ass. Richard says his season, he was the best, so now he can prove it. Shh. Whichever chef wins, they get $10,000. Nice. Each chef has a hidden ingredient that Tom picked out, which must be included. Stephanie is a beast because both Richard and Antonia were on her season, so I guess she has two competitors.

40 minutes to cook. Season 4 gets a rack of veal. Mike and Voltaggio have duck, and Mike lets him butcher it to save himself some work. Hosea and Carla have lamb. Hosea wants to prove to the haters he deserved to win. Carla is making soup again because her soups go over well. Tiffany and Kevin get pork. Stephanie points out she could go home with $20,000. Voltaggio is trying to work every random piece of equipment he can find. Richard worries about everything, as he does. Antonia’s burner keeps going out. Carla’s too. Carla puts her rice in her pot with her stew, which she recognizes as a problem.

Kevin: barbecue pork with cilantro, celery, shaved onion and citrus salad. Tiffany: pork stew with potatoes, peppers, citrus and allspice. Tom says they’re both really good, but he prefers Tiffany’s, as does Eric. So she wins! Good for her! This is the first time she’s won anything all season. Hosea: braised lamb in red chili broth with olives and mint, goat cheese and rosemary polenta. Yum. Carla: jollify rice and harissa lamb with peppers, onions, and lime. Carla’s rice is undercooked and she doesn’t try to talk her way out of it. Poor Carla. But Hosea showed the haters. Stephanie: veal scaloppini with tapenade and poached egg. Antonia: roasted veal, leek and almond puree with sautéed mushrooms, arugula, and raisins. Antonia’s veal is tough, but there is a lot going on in Stephanie’s dish. The judges say that Stephanie’s dish is the lesser of two evils, basically. Richard: seared veal loin and braised veal cap with raisins, carrots, potatoes, and mushrooms. They like Richard’s dish, so of course he wins against Stephanie’s randomness. He says he has momentum. Voltaggio: duck breast with duck leg in bacon vinaigrette, burnt leek and coffee pesto. Weird. Mike: cashew dusted spiced duck breast with duck leg and mushroom jus. Tom breaks the tie here and says Mike handled the duck better. I don’t like this. Mike winning things. I don’t like Mike.

The elimination challenge: the judges were “invited” to a dinner party thrown by Bahamian royalty. So they decided the contestants should cook! Ha! Tiffany says she’s going to make what she usually does. I guess they’re working as a team? Padma sends them to the hotel.
The suite is really swank, as is expected. Tiffany is thrilled to finally win something. Richard says he’s the hardest working person there. He is willing to chase down goats. That’s what he said, he would chase down a goat.

2.5 hours to prep in the morning. The kitchen is fully stocked, and I guess they agreed on the menu last night or something. I can’t imagine they are each doing whatever they want, without consulting each other. They have to at least divide up courses. Everyone runs around. Richard is making lobster and he says his dish will be refined. Carla has things to get over mentally, because she lost the Quickfire and is psyching herself out. Mike bitches that the girls are “playing it safe” and that it’s an honor for them to be here, but not for him? Somehow it’s an honor for him to win, so…he’s not honored to have made it to the final? Shut up, Mike. They pack up coolers and whatnot. Not a lot of cooking today.

A police escort shows up to take them to the dinner location. As they drive, they end up in the middle of Carnival. Well, it looks like Carnival. Brightly colored costumes and giant feathered headdresses. They get out of the car, and Mike immediately starts dancing, sort of, but they’re all freaking out because obviously they may need to change plans. Tom appears with the King of Junkanoo, which is like Carnival and Mardi Gras mixed together. This is who they are cooking for. Tiffany is thrilled beyond belief because she was always going to make her food, which is perfectly suited to this. Everyone else and their refined dishes are in trouble.

1 hour to cook and adjust. There is a flattop, a couple of microwaves, and lots of deep fryers. Antonia notices one of the fryers is smoking. They try to turn it down, but it still bursts into flame. Awesome. Richard covers the deep fryer with a sheet pan to keep the flames down, and they try to turn off the fryer and get an extinguisher and whatever. Some production assistants or whoever start evacuating, and Richard says everyone was more concerned with covering their food than with leaving the kitchen and being safe. Not surprising in the least. The fire department shows up.

The chefs sit out in the restaurant. Mike apparently had no idea what was going on. Antonia talks about changing her dish and Richard tells her to go with her gut. She basically tells him to shut up because she’s freaking out. She was right next to the fire and Mike (jokingly, I guess maybe) accused her of doing it. Everyone’s unhappy. Richard then gloats he’s inside her head and he wants her to bomb. Richard, don’t turn into a jerk. Tom interviews that the thermostat might have been busted, or something was wet, or something. They don’t seem to know what went wrong, but what they do know is that all the food in the kitchen is now contaminated. Suck. Tom gives everyone the bad news, which is that they have to start over and scrub down the whole kitchen. They’ll clean, redo all the prep, and serve later tonight. Later tonight? Huh? Now they can all rethink their dishes, so Tiffany isn’t super pleased.

Carla thinks she could have done her dish better the first time. Richard says some bullshit about doing a new dish because that’s the spirit of the competition, making up new dishes. You’re making a new dish because your old dish was too refined once you figured out what the challenge really was. Don’t pretend otherwise. Antonia is changing her dish too, but she says that she and Richard are the only ones changing. So more prep, and then back to the restaurant. Now they all have countertop household deep fryers. Carla is deep frying her pork tenderloin. Hmm. Mike says he’s better than everyone else. Tiffany wants to win. Carla’s pork didn’t cook all the way through, so she puts the slices on the flattop to try to cook them through. The judges and guest arrive and all the judges are drinking beer which amuses me for some reason. Antonia doesn’t feel quite right about her dish, like it’s not really her. Carla thinks it’s coming together and is as good as it will get.

Carla: fried pork medallion with sweet potato puree, apple sauce and apple chip. It’s very sweet, and of course Gail has a raw piece of pork. Antonia: crispy shrimp and grits with cilantro and pickled vegetables. The shrimp seems overcooked and muddled maybe. The king says it would be better with conch. They like the idea. Mike: sous vide chicken, mushrooms, yams, lobster sauce and lobster hash. They only have good things to say. Boo. Oh, Gail thinks the white meat is dry. That’s about it. Richard: roasted lamb loin and malted braised leg with pickled turnip and mustard. It’s like a cannelloni but with turnip instead. And I see a foam. It’s delicate and tasty. Richard, of course, thinks it sucks. Tiffany: roasted spiced pork tenderloin, dirty rice, curried slaw and tomato jam. The meat is tender, and they enjoy it, but they seem under whelmed. The judges discuss what might have happened, if they were mislead by what they thought the challenge was (whose fault is that, JUDGES) or maybe they got spooked by the fire.

Commercial interlude: Richard for some reason has assigned equivalent musical genres to nuts. Peanuts are rock and roll, walnuts are close like British rock, almonds are ballet, pistachios are pop, etc. Of course he did.

Everyone waits for Judges’ Table and talks about how they second-guess themselves. Richard says he hates everything he does. They all go in to face the music. One elimination today. Tom acknowledges the fire and says “it’s going to be tough from now on, deal with it”. They liked how crispy Carla’s chips were but it was too sweet. She says she had to put something on it. They tell her Gail’s meat was raw, and she claims that that batch was the only one. Eric says his meat was perfectly cooked. Antonia wanted to go less stuffy when she realized what was really the challenge. Her shrimp was overcooked, and her grits had meat in them for some reason so it changed the texture. Tiffany’s dish was not complex enough and kind of dry. Her “curried slaw” didn’t have enough curry in it. Mike starts by saying he liked his dish. They say a lot of nice things about his sauce and how everything worked together and whatever but the breast meat was dry. Richard tells the judges he hates everything he does. Sigh. His seasoning was right on, but Tom wishes there was maybe one more flavor. Eric didn’t like the turnip and thought it was too soft. Richard promises to work on his “vegetable cookery” if he makes it through this round. Today the winner is Mike. Sigh. He of course brags that beating Richard will screw with his head. Everything screws with Richard’s head. That’s not an achievement.

Richard is disappointed, but not so much that he can’t contribute to the discussion of who did the worst. Tom is saying any one of them can go home. Carla’s dish was too sweet, and Gail points out she couldn’t eat hers. Antonia’s two major components both had problems: overcooked shrimp and meat in the grits. They seem bored with Tiffany’s dish, which at this point in the competition is not acceptable.

Tom reminds everyone what they did wrong, which they already know, and then Padma sends Carla home. Boo. I mean, I get it, but I like Carla. She knows she did poorly, and she wishes she could have gone home making a dish she was proud of. She says she’s now a better chef, and accepts herself.

Next week: Padma wears a bikini so Mike makes a sexist comment, diving for conch, flailing and failing.
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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

TAR18, Recap Leg 3, 3/6/11

Welcome to Leg 3! Last time, on Let’s Get Hopping!, teams raced from Sydney to Broken Hill, a mining town on the edge of the outback. Mel and Mike fell victim to emotions, Ron and Christina are up to their old tricks, Zev and Justin are winning (now that they have their fanny pack) and Kris and Amanda? We hardly knew thee. Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Zev/Justin, Team Aspergers
2nd – Flight Time/Big Easy, The Globetrotters
3rd – Jet/Cord, The Cowboy Brothers
4th – Kisha/Jen, Team Bathroom
5th – Margie/Luke, Team ASL
6th – Mel/Mike, The Tygers
7th – Kent/Vyxsin, Team Goth
8th – Jaime/Cara, The Cheerios
9th – Gary/Mallory , The Hillbillies
10th – Ron/Christina, Team Asian

Junction Mine, Broken Hill, Australia

Teams are transported overnight from Broken Hill to Sydney by train. Once teams are at Central Railway Station in Sydney, they are then released by arrival time.

11:57 AM Zev/Justin (1st)
Clue: Fly 5000 miles to Tokyo, Japan! Once there, make your way to the rotating parking garage to get your next clue. You have $607 for this leg of the race.

Zev and Justin travel to the airport by taxi. Justin: “The last time we went to Japan, I had to eat a wasabi roll.” (Toyouke: “Wasabi roll!”)

12:05 PM Flight Time/Big Easy (2nd) – who take the train with . . .
12:08 PM Jet/Cord (3rd)
12:09 PM Kisha/Jen (4th)
– who miss the first train and find a computer.
12:10 PM Margie/Luke (5th) – who go to a travel agent with . . .
12:14 PM Mel/Mike (6th)
12:16 PM Kent/Vyxsin (7th)
– who find a computer. And Kent decided to wear a cowboy hat to mock the cowboys. (Toyouke: “Kent, you are not rocking the cowboy hat.”)
12:24 PM Jaime/Cara (8th) – who find a different travel agent.
12:26 PM Gary/Mallory (9th)
12:28 PM Ron/Christina (10th)
– (Toyouke: “Christina got engaged to Azaria! What!? Oh, points for not trying to get Christina and Azaria to race together.” Kmanpat: “Although, I could have handled that better than her father.”)

The teams use their various methods to book themselves on one of two flights: a Qantas flight direct to Tokyo, landing at 6:15 AM, and a Cathay Pacific flight with a connection in Hong Kong, scheduled to land 15 minutes earlier at 6 AM. The teams shake down as follows:

First Flight, Cathay Pacific via Hong Kong, arrival 6:00 AM
1) Zev/Justin
2) Margie/Luke
– (Auburnium0513: “I think the choice of direct flight is much wiser than risking a connection for 15 minutes. If it makes you nervous, Margie, DON'T DO IT!”)
3) Mel/Mike
4) Kent/Vyxsin
5) Jaime/Cara

Second Flight, Qantas, arrival 6:15 AM
1) Flight Time/Big Easy
– who gave up the Cathay flight to Team Aspergers. (Toyouke: “Hmm...good on the Globetrotters, although that's crap racing. But at least he already didn't like the connection.”)
2) Jet/Cord
3) Kisha/Jen
4) Gary/Mallory
5) Ron/Christina

Teams board their flights. And then the Cathay flight gets stuck in Hong Kong with engine trouble. (Toyouke: “Aaaaaannnnnnd apparently it's better to avoid connections.”) Note that the Cathay flight was actually one and a half hours LATE. So, teams arrive at Narita, and work their way to the Parking Garage to get their cars in the following order:

1- Gary/Mallory
2- Flight Time/Big Easy
3- Kisha/Jen
4- Ron/Christina
5- Jet/Cord
6- Margie/Luke
7- Mel/Mike
8- Kent/Vyxsin
9- Jaime/Cara
– who get their car, and proceed to drive it into someone else’s side view mirror. The cops get called and everything gets settled.
10- Zev/Justin

(Auburnium0513: “Cool parking garage! Aww, no task involving the fun garage?”)

Teams are now instructed to drive themselves to the city of Kamakura in the Kanagawa Prefecture and find Tsurugaoka Hachiman-gu. Once there, teams should find to Yabusame Dojo. They arrive in the following order:

1- Ron/Christina
2- Gary/Mallory
3- Flight Time/Big Easy
4- Kisha/Jen
5- Zev/Justin
6- Kent/Vyxsin
7- Mel/Mike
8- Margie/Luke
9- Jet/Cord
– (Toyouke: “Why is it that the cowboys kind of fail at everything except being hot?“)
10- Jaime/Cara

(Auburnium0513: “I know you're trying to get there quickly, but maybe you should figure out the map BEFORE you start driving.”)

Once they arrive, teams get the second roadblock clue.

ROADBLOCK:

Who wants to go back a thousand years in time?

In this roadblock, one team member must perform an ancient Yabusame ritual correctly. Teams must don ancient ceremonial garb, and watch a demonstration to be able to master meditative form, bow and arrow posture, and shooting accuracy in order to get their next clue.

The following teammates take the Roadblock:

1- Ron
2- Gary
3- Flight Time
4- Jen
5- Justin
6- Kent
– (Toyouke: “Kent, now I'm offended. No fake Asian accents.”)
7- Mike
8- Luke
9- Cord
10- Jaime

After much bow and arrow shooting, teams complete the Roadblock in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen
2- Zev/Justin
3- Gary/Mallory
4- Flight Time/Big Easy
5- Ron/Christina
6- Margie/Luke
7- Jet/Cord
8- Kent/Vyxsin
9- Mel/Mike
10- Jaime/Cara

Teams are now instructed to drive themselves to Minamiashigara and find Daiyazan Station. Once there, teams are to find the Kintaro statue to get their next clue. (Toyouke: “Aww, small children!”) Teams arrive in the following order:

1- Zev/Justin
2- Gary/Mallory
3- Flight Time/Big Easy
4- Ron/Christina
5- Kisha/Jen
6- Margie/Luke
7- Jet/Cord
8- Kent/Vyxsin
9- Mel/Mike
10- Jaime/Cara

And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Prayer of Purity OR Frog of Luck
*Prayer of Purity: Teams travel to a park where they will receive a Shinto cleansing that includes putting on a traditional wardrobe, learning a very vocal and physical prayer, and standing under a waterfall at 45° for one minute. Once complete, teams get their next clue.
*Frog of Luck: Teams must wear a loincloth and search a mudpit for a frog while being pelted with mud. Once the frog is found, teams take it to the proctor for their next clue.

(Toyouke: “I'm sure the symbol of luck is not a plastic frog that probably squeaks when you squeeze it.“)

1- Zev/Justin choose Frog of Luck
2- Gary/Mallory choose Frog of Luck
– (Toyouke: “I'm entertained Mallory is so game for being in the mud.”)
3- Flight Time/Big Easy choose Prayer of Peace – (Toyouke: “Are the Globetrotters even saying anything? Should I be offended again?” Auburnium0513: “Hearing a Globetrotter cry for his mamma: Priceless”)
4- Ron/Christina choose Prayer of Peace
5- Kisha/Jen choose Frog of Luck
6- Jet/Cord choose Frog of Luck
– (Toyouke: “Wooooooooo naked cowboys! And then they look for a real frog. Sigh.” Kmanpat: “The naked cowboy quotient on this show is still very low. . . But the techniques that Cord used still somehow located the amphibian.”)
7- Margie/Luke choose Frog of Luck
8- Kent/Vyxsin choose Frog of Luck
9- Mel/Mike choose Frog of Luck
– and get hypothermia.
10- Jaime/Cara choose Frog of Luck

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Zev/Justin
2- Gary/Mallory
3- Flight Time/Big Easy
4- Ron/Christina
– who freak out when they can’t find Christina’s fanny pack. (Toyouke: “I don't think that's something you can blame on Christina. The Globetrotters should have let them know or something.”)
5- Kisha/Jen
6- Jet/Cord
7- Kent/Vyxsin
8- Margie/Luke
9- Jaime/Cara
10- Mel/Mike

Teams get their clue and find that they must now drive themselves to Kurihama in Yokosuka Prefecture and find the Commodore Perry Monument, the PIT STOP of the third leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive WILL be eliminated!

1- Zev/Justin – who win a trip for 2 to Punta Islita, Costa Rica
2- Gary/Mallory
3- Ron/Christina
– who arrived fourth, but got bumped up as did . . .
4- Kisha/Jen – due to the stupidity of . . .
5- Flight Time/Big Easy – (Toyouke: “Ooo how did Phil not know what the Globetrotters did?”)
6- Jet/Cord
7- Kent/Vyxsin
8- Margie/Luke
9- Jaime/Cara
10- Mel/Mike
– (Toyouke: “Jamie and Cara saved by Mel being too old? SUCK”)

Mel and Mike were told to go to the pit stop after all other teams had checked in. Mike still loves his dad, and will continue to be concerned about him. Mike says he’ll be back to run the race with his walker when he’s 80.

ORDER NOW:
1st – Zev/Justin
2nd – Gary/Mallory
3rd – Ron/Christina
4th – Kisha/Jen
5th – Flight Time/Big Easy
6th – Jet/Cord
7th – Kent/Vyxsin
8th – Margie/Luke
9th – Jaime/Cara

Next week: China! Zev has a hard time. Ron freaks out, as usual. And the Goths go the wrong direction. All in a night’s episode. Until next time!
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Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Top Chef:All Stars 3/2/11--"Give Me Your Huddled Masses" summary

Previously on “Top Chef: All Stars”: Paula Deen presided over a Quickfire of fried foods. Mike stole an idea from Richard, and yes, I know technically chefs do it all the time, and technically it’s not against the law, but he laughed about doing it and then said “I didn’t steal anything, because I made it”, and plus he’s an asshat. And Richard didn’t make that same dish, MIKE, because he was busy making fried mayonnaise. So Mike won, because the universe thinks this is hilarious. Then they all had to make Gulf seafood for a charity benefit. 300 guests, so they brought back some eliminated contestants for some drama. Richard, because he’s no dummy, picked out Fabio based on how they get along and not what seafood he had. He won, proving that he had an excellent strategy. It looked like Marcel would send Tiffany home for screwing up her dish but Dale’s mustard crouton overpowered his dish and he was sent home. I know! Dale! Sad. (click for more)

Tiffany says this is when she went home last season. She is determined not to go home on the same challenge. Later in the “bar”, Antonia gets a phone call home. Her daughter is super cute! Mike says he doesn’t want to celebrate being in the final round until he’s in the final round. Let’s hope this editing is for Mike and not Antonia.

Richard hopes for a challenge with less than 50 plates. He asks Antonia what she thinks will happen today, since she seems to have a good psychic vibe about this stuff. She asks “Is Padma coming here today?” and the other girls agree they felt that too. Cue Padma coming around the corner of the kitchen. Hee. Richard likes it but says it’s like she’s coming into the zoo. Padma summons them to the roof. Antonia thinks they will base jump off the roof and scramble eggs on the way down. Hee. For the Quickfire, they’ll all get on a ferry to Ellis Island. Then she sends them back downstairs. Why did they have to do that on the roof?

On the ferry, there is a note that the challenge will be on the ferry. They must make a dish with whatever is on board the ferry, that must be finished by the time the ferry gets to Ellis Island. Mostly there is junk food. Richard sneers at junk food. Shush. When they hear the horn, they start. When it sounds again, it stops. So they don’t have an actual clock or countdown.

Everyone stands around waiting for the horn, and then jumps over the counters. Tiffany tries to tell them they’re at the island. She is making nachos. Antonia is using the hot dog grill thing (with the rotating pipes) to make grilled cheese. Richard claims to have been carrying an MRE in his knife kit. Really? You just happen to carry an MRE with you at all times? That is so fishy. Carla is making salad. Interesting. Mike is trying to make soup with hot dog buns but it ends up as soggy bread. Richard has hot dogs. I can’t find his MRE stuff in his dish. Antonia keeps an eye out and warns them that they’re docking. Tiffany thinks she needs more than nachos so is making some popcorn too. Mike just finishes but is not happy.

Padma comes down with Dan Barber who is executive chef at Blue Hill at Stone Barns. He also worked with Richard during the finale of Richard’s season. Interesting. Richard: hot dog and beef jerky sandwich with jalapeno, pork rinds, lettuce, and apple. He says he only used the MRE packet for the chemical heating to cook the hot dogs, and he also says this is supposed to be like a bahn mi. Tiffany: nachos with cheese, lettuce, tomato, jalapeno, banana peppers, and sour cream. Also popcorn with candied mango and pineapple. Mike: bread soup with cheddar cheese, sour cream, green chili, and pork rinds. Carla: orange and papaya salad with carrot and rosemary juice. Antonia: grilled cheese with apples and raisin bread. Everyone pretty much makes fun of other people’s food and how it sucks.

Tiffany’s dish was plain and a throwaway, but she knows it was. Richard was creative (of course). Mike’s soup was too heavy, and Antonia gloats. Antonia, on the other hand, did a creative job on grilling her sandwich, and Carla had a refreshing salad. Cut to Richard looking irritated, because he didn’t think they did enough work. Carla wins, which pisses people off but so what? Mostly Richard is pissed, and he’s been pretty full of himself this season.

This is the last Elimination challenge in New York. Today, they will use their family history to create a dish. Nice. Padma makes a note that Tiffany and Carla are African-American. I’m not sure why she singled them out, as Carla says that they’re all part of the “fabric of America”. Padma then says they hired a genealogist to research their lineages. Awesome! Plus, special guests! Which are family members. Carla takes a minute to figure it out, because the first people aren’t familiar to her. Tiffany is really moved to see her mom. It’s moms, and Carla’s husband and Richard’s wife. Richard’s wife is pregnant again.

Free evening to hang out and look over the genealogy information. Richard ends up being Irish and English, and makes a joke about Worcestershire. And how one of his ancestors was a chemist. Tiffany asks her mom what they ate mostly in Louisiana. She throws out okra, because Tom doesn’t like okra, but then decides to do it anyway. Carla discovers her family was some of the last slaves to be freed, but they had their own business. Mike’s parents got divorced when he was three, and he claims he was a troublemaker and cooking kept him out of jail. Antonia finds she is one-quarter Jewish. Then she finds out that she and Mike might be vaguely related. Everyone laughs at them. Antonia is horrified, and her mom says she takes no responsibility for anything.

30 minutes to shop at Whole Foods. Richard is complaining because he has to make Irish and English food and I guess it doesn’t inspire him.

Back at the house, Antonia and Mike are still on the kick that they’re “cousins” or at least related somehow. Also Antonia’s mom tried to tell her that Mike was cute. Ew. They all look through the folders and the old pictures. She says you can’t write this shit. There is also an extremely kick ass picture of Mike when he was maybe 5, in dance class, with a bright pink jumpsuit, lime green satin vest, and bowl cut. With his legs planted and hands on his hips. It is hilarious. Immediately everyone mocks him, as they should.

Tiffany and Carla hang out. They find a DVD on the table, and a car key. Wait, didn’t they already give away a car? They gave one to Mike for winning that Quickfire where Tom cooked and they got like 8 minutes to make something. How did they get another car? The DVD says winner gets the Highlander hybrid. That’s the car my parents have, although, not the super fancy version with DVD player and touch screen. It’s a pretty nice car, though.

They get to the restaurant with 3 hours to cook. Carla is making braised pork shoulder with fried grits and biscuits. Maybe. There seems to be liquid nitrogen involved. Richard approves, of course, because she is “pushing herself”. Tiffany is going to use her okra, with braised short ribs. Yum. Antonia has veal. Richard also has braised short ribs, but with pickled glassworts. He says “glasswort” sounds sexier than “sea beans”. No it doesn’t. He then claims it’s what they call them in Ireland. Mike’s making his grandmother’s recipes. Carla’s biscuits aren’t baking. Antonia is trying to make risotto, which she knows will be awesome if she does it well. The family members are at the table with the judges.

Mike: potato gnocchi with braised pork shank ragu and burrata cheese. Mom says he started early with cooking. They like his gnocchi. Mom says he’s better than grandma. Sigh. Suddenly it’s dark outside and Antonia is talking about cooking for her mom, and then it’s lighter outside and she’s serving. Antonia: braised veal, rapini leaf and fava bean risotto. They really enjoy the risotto. Tom says it’s packed with flavor. Antonia’s mom and Mike’s mom joke about who was better. Tiffany: braised short rib with mustard greens, stewed okra, and oxtail marmalade. Her mom says they make it at home, and Tom says their family is well fed. AND he says he’s never liked okra until now. Go Tiffany! Richard is nervous about cooking for his wife because she’s an athlete and is competitive. Richard: short ribs, potatoes, fried bone marrow, corn puree and pickled glasswort. And he says “it wouldn’t be steak without fried bone marrow.” OK. They think it all came together. Carla’s husband says they met on match.com. Really? I wouldn’t have guessed that. Carla: braised pork shoulder, fried grits, corn and sweet potato hash and cheddar biscuits. Richard’s wife likes that the biscuits were on another plate that they got to pass around. I’m glad to see it turned out well. Tom and Gail talk about how hard this decision is going to be. Everyone says goodbye. Richard’s wife tells him she thinks he’s safe. Hmm.

Commercial interlude: everyone eats everyone else’s food, and freaks out. Actually, they all seem to like everything, instead of mocking them like during the Quickfire. They’re freaking out because it’s all so good.

Padma makes them all come out at the same time. Carla’s broth was delicious, and Gail praises the biscuits. The corn was tough, says Tom. And then she admits she used liquid nitrogen. Tom tells her it all worked together and was soulful. Richard’s dish was thoughtful and made sense. That’s about it. See, when they praise everything it’s not very interesting. Padma tells Antonia she was courageous to serve them risotto, but it ended up having a great texture. The veal fell apart and was perfect. Tiffany cheers when Tom admits he liked her okra. It was also clear that food was important in her house and there was love. Mike made his grandmother’s gnocchi. It was very light, and Gail says he should always listen to his mother, who gave him some advice. Mike kind of loses it, and admits his grandmother passed away when he was younger so he’s never cooked Italian food professionally because it was too painful of a reminder. Gail gently tells him that his mother said his gnocchi was better than his grandmother’s.

“Top Chef: Masters” with new host Curtis Stone? Not that I’ll be complaining about Curtis Stone, but I wonder why the change.

Back in the Stew Room, they talk about how they’re glad they liked everything but someone still has to go home. We’re really nitpicking today. Antonia’s veal was a hair salty when eaten alone. Mike maybe could have plated with less meat. Padma wanted more green on Richard’s plate. Carla’s garnish got lost with the fantastic broth. Tiffany could have done without some accessories, although they were all delicious. Other than that, the judges talked about how delicious and well balanced and homey everything was.

Winner gets to go to the finals and they also get a new car. Antonia wins. Wow. She’s pretty shocked. And then Padma announces the final round will take place in the Bahamas. Mike is also safe. Eeehhhhhhhh. They keep cutting in shots of Richard looking supremely upset. Mike and Antonia get to leave. Tiffany had a lot of things going on, but they enjoyed it. Richard tied together many random things. Carla had some vegetable problems but one of the best sauces this season. Richard…is going to the finale. But Padma screws with his head first by telling him to pack his knives. Hee. We get a commercial break before discovering that they’re both going, which is LAME. Look, I know you had a hard time deciding, but this “everyone is a winner!” crap reality shows like to pull is ridiculous. Someone has to be eliminated. Eliminate someone. That’s what they pay you for. Back in the Stew Room there is shrieking and freaking out.

Next week: cook head-to-head with the chef that won your season. Kick ass! Grease fire, diving for things, people being pissed, actual criticism of dishes.
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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

TAR18, Recap Leg 2, 2/27/11

Welcome to Leg 2! Last time, on Are You Going to Manly? You’ll Fit Right In, teams raced from Palm Springs to Sydney, Australia. Teams got separated by transportation and a painfully long Roadblock, which ended in a tired Jet and Cord finishing last at the mat, only to find that they were not eliminated, and everyone was still racing! Who will be eliminated. . . next? (click for more)

(Toyouke: “Now is the time for ‘Amazing Race theme: Club Remix’”)

Arrival at the pit stop last episode:
1st – Gary/Mallory , The Hillbillies
2nd – Amanda/Kris, The YDC
3rd – Kisha/Jen, Team Bathroom
4th – Zev/Justin, Team Aspergers
5th – Flight Time/Big Easy, The Globetrotters
6th – Jaime/Cara, The Cheerios
7th – Margie/Luke, Team ASL
8th – Ron/Christina, Team Asian
9th – Mel/Mike, The Tygers
10th – Kent/Vyxsin, Team Goth
11th – Jet/Cord, The Cowboy Brothers

Shelly Beach, Manly, Australia

Gary/Mallory (1st)
Clue: Make your way back to Sydney and find the phrase “To Sail to Stop”. This will take you to an anchor at City Town Hall. Once there, sign up for one of two charter flights to Broken Hill, Australia, 684 miles away.

(Toyouke: “Oo, another real clue.”)

Amanda/Kris (2nd)
Kisha/Jen (3rd)
– Kisha: "It kept saying something about an anchor?" (Toyouke: “How do you not think "Hey, a random landmark! That must be it!")
Zev/Justin (4th)
Flight Time/Big Easy (5th)
– who compare and contrast their qualities.
Jaime/Cara (6th)
Margie/Luke (7th)
Ron/Christina (8th)
Mel/Mike (9th)
– where Mike is finding things more difficult than he imagined.
Kent/Vyxsin (10th)
Jet/Cord (11th)


The teams that call for a taxi really struggle to find the monument, while the teams who take the ferry back seem to have little difficulty in finding information to help themselves out. That might be due to not getting the clue. (Toyouke: “I feel badly for the other teams, because I totally would have assumed we'd have to get back on the ferry.” Kmanpat: “We would have.”) Teams arrive at City Town Hall and sign up for flights in the following order:

First Flight, 6:00 AM
1) Kisha/Jen
2) Zev/Justin
3) Jaime/Cara
4) Margie/Luke
5) Mel/Mike
6) Kent/Vyxsin

Second Flight, 6:30 AM
1) Flight Time/Big Easy
2) Ron/Christina
3) Gary/Mallory
4) Amanda/Kris
5) Jet/Cord

Teams fly on the charter to the edge of the outback. They arrive in the following order:

1- Kisha/Jen
2- Kent/Vyxsin
3- Jaime/Cara
4- Margie/Luke
5- Zev/Justin
– Zev: “Not a lot of Steakhouses here. . .”
6- Mel/Mike – Mel: “Kisha drives too slow.” (Toyouke: “If you don't like how fast Kisha is driving, then DON'T FOLLOW HER.”)
7- Gary/Mallory
8- Amanda/Kris
9- Flight Time/Big Easy
10- Jet/Cord
11- Ron/Christina

Teams are now instructed to drive themselves to the Living Desert and find their next clue. They arrive in the following order:

1- Zev/Justin – Justin: “Zev is artistic AND autistic!”
2- Kisha/Jen
3- Mel/Mike
4- Jaime/Cara
5- Kent/Vyxsin
6- Margie/Luke
7- Gary/Mallory
8- Amanda/Kris
9- Jet/Cord
10- Flight Time/Big Easy
11- Ron/Christina

Teams find the clue box by the side of the road. And we get the Detour Clue.

DETOUR:
Spirit World OR Natural World
*Spirit World: Teams must use materials to create a mosaic that matches an example. Once complete, teams must dance on the mosaic to get their clue.
*Natural World: Teams must create a territory marker using a natural paint that is spit out of the mouth to create four images. Once finished, teams will get their next clue.

1- Zev/Justin choose Spirit World
2- Kisha/Jen choose Spirit World
3- Mel/Mike choose Spirit World
4- Jaime/Cara choose Spirit World
5- Kent/Vyxsin choose Spirit World
6- Margie/Luke choose Spirit World
7- Gary/Mallory choose Spirit World
8- Amanda/Kris choose Spirit World
9- Jet/Cord choose Spirit World
10- Flight Time/Big Easy choose Spirit World
11- Ron/Christina choose Spirit World
– because everyone else did. (Toyouke: “No! When everyone else is doing one Detour you do the other one!”)

Teams complete the detour in the following order:

1- Zev/Justin
2- Margie/Luke
3- Mel/Mike
4- Kent/Vyxsin
– because they decide to dance around the mosaic. Kent: “Vyxsin! Please get me children!”
5- Kisha/Jen
6- Jaime/Cara
7- Jet/Cord
8- Gary/Mallory
9- Flight Time/Big Easy
10- Amanda/Kris
– (Toyouke: “While Kris does look good shirtless, where are the cowboys? And why did they not take their shirts off?”)
11- Ron/Christina

CAUTION: U-TURN AHEAD

This season, the first U-Turn is forced, so a team is chosen by their performance on a task.

Thus, upon completion of the task, teams arrive at the U-Turn and then get their next clue in the following order:

1-Amanda/Kris have been U-Turned

So, Amanda and Kris go to Natural World, which is apparently WAY easier than the mosaic. (Toyouke: “Wow, Kris spits so well.” Kmanpat: “That’s what SHE said.”) And they continue on their way.

Teams are then instructed to make their way to the “Home of the Magpies” which teams discover through questioning that they are to go to the Central Football Club to get their next clue. Teams then arrive at Central Football Club in the following order:

1- Zev/Justin
2- Margie/Luke
3- Kent/Vyxsin
4- Mel/Mike
5- Jaime/Cara
6- Jet/Cord
7- Flight Time/Big Easy
8- Kisha/Jen
9- Gary/Mallory
10- Ron/Christina
– (Toyouke: “Oohhhhh, now I remember how Ron and Christina were. Sigh.”)
11- Amanda/Kris

According to the clue, “It’s time for a Roo’d Awakening!” So, teams get dressed in kangaroo costumes (Toyouke: “It...there are moon boots to go with the costumes. ...I am rendered speechless.”) and use a Periodic Table of Elements to get their next clue. The highlighted elements (Mercury and Bismuth) indicate an intersection of town that teams must find. (Toyouke: “AND they picked one of the elements that has random letters as its symbol.”) And teams arrive at the intersection in the following order:

1- Zev/Justin – Random Australian: "Guess what happened to me? Two guys in kangaroo suits with a television camera just asked me for directions!" (Toyouke: “Zev and Justin just made that guy's day.”)
2- Flight Time/Big Easy
3- Kisha/Jen
4- Margie/Luke
5- Mel/Mike
6- Kent/Vyxsin
7- Jaime/Cara
8- Jet/Cord
9- Gary/Mallory
10- Ron/Christina
– (Toyouke: “I heard the Cymbals of "That was a poor decision, idiot" when Ron said not to follow Gary and Mallory.”)
11- Amanda/Kris

Teams get their clue and find that they must now drive themselves to Junction Mine, the PIT STOP of the second leg of this racearoundtheworld. The last team to arrive WILL be eliminated!
1- Zev/Justin – who win a trip for 2 to Cancun. Phil: “You have your passports?”
2- Flight Time/Big Easy
3- Jet/Cord
4- Kisha/Jen
5- Margie/Luke
6- Mel/Mike
7- Kent/Vyxsin
8- Jaime/Cara
9- Gary/Mallory
10- Ron/Christina
11- Amanda/Kris

And Amanda and Kris are gone. I must say this race has progressed as I would have wanted it to. . .

ORDER NOW:
1st – Zev/Justin
2nd – Flight Time/Big Easy
3rd – Jet/Cord
4th – Kisha/Jen
5th – Margie/Luke
6th – Mel/Mike
7th – Kent/Vyxsin
8th – Jaime/Cara
9th – Gary/Mallory
10th – Ron/Christina

Next week: Japan! And more wackiness. Including the Cheerios hitting someone. Oh, and Ron is verbally abusive to Christina, as usual. Until next time!


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