My monkey could do that

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Bromans 9/21/17--Season 1 Episode 2 summary

Previously on “Bromans”: a bunch of Jersey Shore-types showed up to a crappy set to pretend to be gladiators. First they had to stand outside naked while their girlfriends dug for clothing. Then they had to haul rocks in a chariot. In between these activities was a lot of nonsense and general tomfoolery. The two main actors broke the 4th wall repeatedly, almost as if they knew they were in a terrible show. The two slowest lads, Richard and Glenn, were up for elimination. As the contestants voted for who would go home, they decided Glenn was easy to beat so they kept him. Richard and Sophii lost. This show might be terrible, but I find it endlessly entertaining, which probably means I should think about my life. (click for more)
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Friday, September 22, 2017

Project Runway 9/21/17--"Models Off Duty" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: there was a cross promotion with Disney to make either “good” or “evil” eveningwear. The twins were supposed to be separated, but of course that didn't last. But they actually got two days! Brandon won because he made some weird thing that was “fresh” and “new” and whatever, which is dumb but at least it's different, I guess. But no more shirtdresses. Heidi pretended multiple people might be sent home, but in the end only Aaron, for completely running out of time and not hemming anything and also for the straps falling off his garment on the runway. (click for more)
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Saturday, September 16, 2017

Bromans 9/14/17--Season 1 Episode 1 summary

I don't know how much I've talked about it, but I LOVE terrible movies. I made my friends see “Snakes on a Plane” with me in the theater and had a blast, while they told me I “owed” them. Pff. I knew that thing would be terrible, and it was, so I was not disappointed. Same thing with “2012” or “Armageddon” or “Sharknado” or “Clash of the Titans”, the original with the shitty claymation, not the new one. So it makes sense I also enjoy terrible reality shows, like “Kept” and “America's Most Smartest Model” and that model show that followed Janice Dickinson around. So Kmanpat sent me a link to an article about “Bromans”, which was a bunch of British meatheads forced to be gladiators. I immediately knew I had to get my hands on it. Later we found out that the meatheads had to bring their girlfriends along, so my interest dropped by like 50%. Still! This show looks like “Towie” crossed with “The Quest”, but since “Towie” is a British show and I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who watched “The Quest”, that analogy probably doesn't make any sense. (click for more)
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Thursday, September 14, 2017

Project Runway 9/14/17--"Descending Into Good and Evil" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: the “make clothes for one of Heidi's clothing lines” challenge was combined with the “make your own print” challenge, with the extra challenge of “your print will be made by hand”. Michael made a slip/nightie inspired by the Chrysler building, which I thought at first would be lame but ended up being beautiful. The twins made each other's outfits, basically, and irritated everyone. Deyonte just dyed his fabric sort of a mottled blue and then made a big tank top and drawstring skirt for his model, who was one of the plus-size models, so he was sent home. (click for more)
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Thursday, September 7, 2017

Project Runway 9/7/17--"We're Sleeping Wear?" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: the designers were asked to be “inspired” by “dance, movement, and innovation.” If that sounds vague and confusing, don't worry. Several designers didn't get it either. Deyonte jammed a needle through his finger, so that sucked. The twins also continued to be annoying. Batani made a dramatic cape, but was beaten by Brandon and his Fashion shirt dress with loops and tabs and whatnot. Deyonte made an ice skating outfit with a mullet hem, but in the end was safe. Kudzanai had so many ideas they all clashed, ribbons and feathers and panels and a tight skirt. So he was sent home. (click for more)
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Thursday, August 31, 2017

Project Runway 8/31/17--"A Leap of Innovation!" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: everyone had to make clothes out of recycling trash, and also work in teams. But the teams didn't really have a ton of drama until judging, where everyone resented Shawn for sucking and taking up all their time. She also complained about her “curvy” model, who wasn't even plus sized and she got nailed for it. Sentell also got in trouble for basically wrapping his model in trash bags. In the end of course Shawn was kept around, because people don't like her, and Sentell is basically a nice person but is also boring so he went home. The winner was Ayana, for an overworked dress with very long fringe. I mean I guess. I like her, but that dress was not great. We also learned models are “randomly” assigned to people each week, meaning the producers control who goes home (I fear the smaller models) and who gets which model (so they can screw with people). (click for more)
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Friday, August 25, 2017

Project Runway 8/24/17--"An Unconventional Recycling" summary

Previously on “Project Runway”: a new batch of people trying to be on TV had to make “red carpet” outfits. Also the models this season range in sizes up to a 22, which means everyone says a bunch of nonsense about “real women” and “curves” and whatever and pretends not to mind. Some of them don't mind, I'm sure, but some of them do and also skinny women are also “real” so this whole thing is annoying. The twins are very extra when they talk to Tim and also most of the rest of the time, but other than that, no one is having fights yet. Deyonte won with a floral print dress for Cannes, which was the perfect place for it. Even though Batani's dress was literally falling apart, she stayed over Chacha, who made some weird A-line dress with pink satin rosettes. (click for more)
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